Cartoonage
December 17th, 2002I recently accompanied my dawgs M&J on an embarassing little trip to some comic bookshop on St. Mark’s Place. For fear that I would be spotted in such an uncool nerd store, I wore sunglesses, a trenchcoat, and answered only to the name Vladamir. Once I started looking around I totally got into the shit. Comics are like this whole underground cutlure, it’s sort of amazing. The detail and stories are so intense, it’s just this whole new level of art to me.
I actually met a very cool kid named Sal Cipriano a few months ago through Gorgeous Roomate. As it turns out, he’s this huge up-and-comer in the whole underground cartoon/zine scene, most notably for his collection of work, “Altered Realities.” He’s got a website on the way too, and I’ll link to it soon so everybody can see his work (his offbeat series Broken Donuts is the shit). Big Big Props to my boy Sal, especially for drawing up these freakin’ cool cartoon sketches for my site and indulging my sad little ego. 
Go Home, Morgan Fairchild
December 17th, 2002Do these Old Navy commercials with Morgan Fairchild and the American Idol kids annoy anybody else? It’s not like those ads weren’t already America’s deepest, darkest shame, but now they go and add prime-time failures and aging primadonnnas into the mix. What kind of a world is this? I ask you, dammit. I demand that Morgan Fairchild, as well as the A.I. losers, be banned from any type of contact with the American public ever again.
Party Up In Here, Up In Here
December 16th, 2002There was a big employee holiday party @ work tonight. I worked the 3 – 11pm shift but it was slow and so I snuck my way up there a few times throughout the evening. Jax orchaestrated the whole thing and I must hand it to her, it was damn impressive. In addition to the 4-star catering, the bar, and the DJ, there was also a Las Vegas theme (complete with 2 Craps tables). All of us who were stuck @ the desk all night went up there together afterwork and it was a lot of fun, ppl were dancing and drinking and dressed u, and of course they’re all just so freakin’ gorgeous that it’s almost obscene. JerseyLisa was there and I tried unawkwardly to get some talk going but she barely said much, girls are so weird. I officially backed off that whole flirtation weeks and weeks ago… but she just looked so good tonight and I was feeling especially rowdy. Still didn’t get anywhere with it but I didn’t let it bug me. I ended up getting snogged by Stefan anyway, which came out of nowhere. It was nice actually, but the girls I work with went INSANE, screaming and howling. One of them was like, “How come you haven’t kissed ME like that?!” So I layed one on her too, which was awesome. I spent the rest of the night having a blast — dancing, making out, and taking pictures with everybody (my new Sony digital cam is the shit!) on the dance floor — it was somewhat therpeutic. I realized that I work with some really fun ppl. It was really a great time and, for a moment I recognized how good it feels being part of a team. Kinda cool.
Onward MTA Soldier
December 15th, 2002The city is all buzzed about the whole MTA Transit Strike that’s supposed to maybe happen tonight. I’m kind of torn about the whole thing. I think they deserve to better taken care of, definately — city employees do not have the best jobs yknow? But they could also do a hell of a lot better job than they do. I wish just once I could get a subway conductor who knows how to NOT scream into the microphone @ 7am (when I’m half asleep) as he announces every single stop. I have friends who are staying downtown with coworkers to be closer to their jobs in case of the strike… I haven’t really thought about whether or not I can get to work. I’m not really that convinced that the strike will happen, I guess. But more power to them, if they do. There was this evil old woman on the train today who was screaming to the subway conductor, “I hope you lose your fucking job!” We all took turns punching her in the face. 
So my buddy Life @ the front desk just got his ass fired (among other things) this week. Rumor has it that he was showing some guest a room and this horndog basically threw him onto the bed and proceeded to service said boy. Life, being the eager-to-please nondiscriminating slut the is, happily obliged and then went on to brag about his little tryst to everybody in the front office. Eventually, the story got back to a manager and thus, Life is no longer with us. I’d probably miss him a lot more had he not straight-up hunted down my ex for a booty call just a week ago. Yeah, see, for me? that kind of made his departure from Hudson uh, not fucking sad @ all. Happy trails, kid. Don’t let the auto-door smack you in the ass on the way out.
I’m so broke. Funny how you just fall into this zone of work and home and sleep, and you suddenly realize that you have bills to pay. Student Loans, Mastercard, T-Mobile, Time Warner, Verizon, Con Ed, rent… they all want a little peice of our souls. Ain’t nobody getting any gifts from me this year, so I have GOT to @ least send out some Christmas cards… but that would require me to leave my room and go outside.
I think I might have to go see that Star Trek: Nemesis today. My dad was a huge trekkie and we always had the full video set playing on a loop in our house, I feel like I have Vulcan blood running though these veins. Also, Patrick Stewart is just too cool for words. I’ve been watching a lot of TV. “The Osbournes” have fially returned and are just bringing so much joy to the world. The last eisode where Ozzy’s trying to build a campfire on the beach and the tide keeps coming in? Hi-freakin’-larious. He’s all, ”Stop it, ocean! STOP IT! Fuck off. I said, FUCK OFF!” Oh, and when he went fishing and baited the hook with cheese (b/c, you know, “… some fish like cheese.”)… the man is just pure comedy, I love it. I also tried to watch “ER” the other night. I haven’t really tuned in since “The Clooney Years” but I remember it being so good that I figured I could just watch it and jump right back on the beat. Um, didn’t happen. Who are these ppl on the show now? What happened to Julianna Margolis, where is she? Is Carter still a student? When did the little cripple lady become a lesbo? I’m so confused. I tried but I just couldn’t get into that mess.
BJ scares me. He brought home a bread machine today. A machine that makes bread. Because, you know, suddenly he’s a Quaker or something. He also uses a brush when he shaves, like one of those bowls with a wooden-handled brush. I think he even makes the cream he shaves with, too. I honestly don’t know what to do with this boy, I think I’m going to have to rename him Samuel and send him to live with the Amish. I swear he would just ride a horse to work if we had the space for a stable. BJ, please don’t start this insanity. There’s no need, dude. Bread costs $1 @ the Pioneer Market up on Dykeman St. and they even slice it for you. Meanwhile, with your newfound new obsession with baking, where the hell are my blueberry muffins and fudge brownies?
Think I’m scheduled to work the overnight shift on Christmas. What a world. 
The Gap Kids
December 13th, 2002While I pretty much hate the clothes? I am infatuated with the Gap models. I want to be friends with them, I want for us all to meetup in the Village and go hang out @ Starbucks. Yes, they annoy the hell out of me when the try to sing but they’re just so earnest about it that I just like them anyway. They’re sexy, they’re broody, they get sporadically cheerful and burst into song & dance. See, they’re all bipolar like me. What’s not to like? They’re like this army of vacant, dead-eyed, sexy drones and I just fucking love it. My pathetic idolization of these mindless fools just stems from my own deep and shameless aspirations to be one of them… although with my stats, I’d probably end up having to model for Gap Kids. 
Behold them. Love them as I do.
Applause for Xtina
December 12th, 2002I know I’ve been very vocal about my deep and undying repulsion @ her new “Stripped” makeover, but I just caught Xtina Aguilera’s new video on MTV and I must say, I kind of like it. The song is a simple, sad ballad about being strong and brave and learning to embrace yourself and see your own beauty. There’s this montage of all these ppl @ different low points of their day. Like, there’s this young girl getting beat up by bullies, there’s two guys kissing on a bench and everyone’s looking @ them weird, there’s an aging drag queen staring @ herself in the mirror, there’s this gawky little kid lifting weights in his room, there’s a goth kid getting all these horrified looks from ppl on a bus… it’s really sad. The lighting in the video is really nice though. At the end of the song, all of the “weird people” just sort of have this little moment where they accept themselves. The anorexic girl even smashes her mirror and smiles @ herself… which sort of doesn’t really change the fact that she’s still underweight and probably malnourished, but whatever. The message was clear and positive and sort of made me go, “Aw. That’s pretty cool.” I liked how they picked all these underdogs and weirdos, and showed their fragility, and what they struggle with each day. I also admire the balls it takes to put out a video (on TRL, no less) in which two young guys are full-out playing some major tonsil-hockey. That shows moxie and progress and I think it’s fanatastic.
As for Xtina, I’m sure she’ll dry hump an entire fleet of sailors in her next video, but I must give her some props on this one. She’s definately got an amazing voice and probably the bluest eyes in pop music. Who knew she was gonna suprise me? The skanked-out little ho-bag actually reached into herself and pulled out —rather than a used condom— something kind of pretty. Wow.
who knew?
Spriteboy Is Not Dead
December 11th, 2002Firstoff, let me just apologize to everyone for neglecting my webjournal this past week. I visited Jax in her office this morning on my way out of the hotel and she grabbed a stapler and literally smacked me across the face with it for ”slacking with the site.” Ok, not really but whatever. She’s a spunky one, that Jax, kind of gives off a dominatrix vibe. I can see why she strikes terror in the hearts of all the women who work for her (and hard-on’s in the pants of all the boys @ Hudson — well, the straight ones anyway. I think there are @ least like, two). Oh, I also got everybody’s emails and can I just saw, Awwwww? I had no idea how many of you are avid SpriteboyWorld.com visitors! It’s so sweet and just really damn cool, and totally makes me feel really sort of um.. sad for all of you. I wish you all had better lives.
I’m on my way out of here in a minute, have to head all the way out some remote place in Regal Park, Queens (which might as well be fucking SIBERA!!!) to do some voice-over shit for a film I worked on a few months ago. Note my very NOT enthusiastic tone? It’s a dark comedy called “Mission: Idiot” and I played an obnoxious teen popstar (loosely based on Aaron Carter) who’s about to get asassinated @ his first mall appearance. You see, I’m not cute enough to land my face on American Idol 2, so I have to settle for poorly-organized, low budget independant film. But I hear the director’s last project just got screened to amazing reviews @ the Toronto Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, which any self-respecting Metrosexual has to respect and acknowledge as pretty damn impressive… so, what the hell ever, it’s all who-you-know. I still wish somebody could explain to me, though, how the hell my 23yr old semi-Filipino-looking, Irish-Mexican ass got cast as an all-American white 14 year old boy.
More updates to come, I promise! Believe me, I have plenty of shit to bitch about. Meanwhile, enjoy the new music I added to the pages! 
Reese & Thank You
December 6th, 2002So I watched Legally Blonde on HBO today and I’ve come to the realization that Reese Witherspoon can do no wrong. Those big, big eyes and her smile and cute little voice. She’s so petitte and tight and tiny and I just wanna do naughty things to her. She’s just adorable. I was not always a fan of hers, though. The wide forehead and tiny mouth sort of frightened me. That car-driving scene in Cruel Intentions when she’s making those little demonic chipmunk faces? Hi, still scares me a little bit. But you know what? She’s cute and perky and I’ve decided that I love her. She’d be the perfect pixie for this little sprite. 
I’m officially keeping my eye on her from now on.
She’s married to Ryan Phillipe, which just breaks all kinds of laws in the Land of Beauty. It’s too much, it’s just too much, I don’t think the world can handle that much hotness. That baby of theirs is gonna be the antichrist, just watch.