I spent my day off sleeping in and watching TV. I will not be ashamed. It’s been a stressful week and I will do as I please!
But I promise to leave my room, do laundry, and go to the gym tomorrow. I will spend at least 3 hours out in the daylight.
Commercials are helpful. How else would I have discovered that Cher is doing that final farewell concert in a few weeks? Oh wait I could have just looked at one of the gazillion posters plastered all over the city. I swear I saw one glued to the bathroom stall at church, man! That woman’s a freakin’ robot, it’s about time she let her batteries die. I hope that concert airs soon so they quit showing the clips for it. Yes, we all believe in life after love, already. Go away. [spriteboy shelds himself behind a pillow from the angry e's about to flood his inbox]
I watched that show Scrubs tonight. That crap is funny. Donald Faison is the perfect TV sitcom buddy, he cracks me up. But what the the hell is Rick Schroeder doing on there? I thought he was walking around naked on NYPD Blue or something. I used to worship him on Silver Spoons — he had a choo-choo train up in his living room, man! It’s good that he’s still working here and there. Getting old, he is (but at least he’s gotten better hair). Also, I’m glad to see that Sarah Chalke found a show that wanted to keep her, I thought she got a raw deal on Roseanne. I personally always liked Becky2 better than Becky1.
Brittany Murphy scares me in the trailer for that movie Spun. She needs to not make that face.
So I have been thinking about it and I have come to a conclusion: Anna Nicole Smith has got to be the dumbest mammal on the fucking planet. Somebody please tell me that I’m not the only one who can see that this woman is straightup loon. I love it that she tried to go camping with a TV crew. With her big-boned ass, her makeup all melting off her face like wax by the campfire while she sat there deep throating pickles and singing “Kum Buy Yah, My Lord.” Oh even better? when they were fishing and she sang that song about, “.. whatchya gonna do when the creek goes dry? Sit on grandpa’s back and watch him die. Honey, baby now…” It was just too fitting, man. Thank God for this TV show, I need something to keep me in stitches now that the Osbournes are dead.
Mr. O’Neil totally reminds me of this voice instructor I had in college. Mr. Lancaster was the best support system I had in school, he was just so earnest and genuine and positive. It was never over the top or annoying, he really really wanted to see us succeed as actors and totally believed we could do it through the mastery of Voice Production and Speech. I remember I had this one comedic monologue I had to really fucking own, it called for a British accent (I was Princess Diana) and I was really nervous about getting it right. Mr. L worked through every single line with me for weeks and weeks, hitting the inflections and punching the proper words the way a British Royal might. When I finally showcased it in front of the faculty and audience, they were howling with laughter. Afterwards, Mr. L ran up to me, gave me the biggest hug, and validated my existance with, “I am so proud of you! You were AMAZING out there!” It was really cool, I think about that all the time. I still occassionally get various ppl — students and alumni — stopping me at Starbucks, all, “Hey, you were that Princess Diana guy!” (It’s cute but kind of a mood-killer when you’re on a date and the asian hottie yer with is all, “Um, what am I missing here?”).
Speaking of, my favorite guests who stay @ the hotel? the japanese tourists!!! They are so cute and inept! They walk up to the front desk with their tiny little luggage on wheels and sort of use charades to let you know that they’re checking in, it’s ridiculously endearing to me. They always have their rooms and reservations pre-paid to avoid any overseas fuss, they never give you attitude about the small rooms (b/c they’re a little ppl and we know how they do), and they always just have the coolest little cameras when they ask you to take pictures with them.
Ok, no really. All racism aside, they’re just generally incredibley nice to interact with. This may all just stem from my own deep, not-so-secret desire to be a cool asain kid.
Caught the end of that awful movie Gossip. I remember going to see this movie with my roomates when it first came out. The kids in this movie are all so broody and gloomy and wander around in these huge, amazing loft apartments with cascading waterfalls and illuminated floors, and they had great haircuts and clothes. They were like these picturesque citizens of Gotham City. We were so jealous. I can look at this shit now and laugh out loud… who LIVES like that? I want names.
Meanwhile, Fraternity Life is becoming one of the funniest things on TV. These boys are bigger girls than the boring ho’s on Sorority Life. I’m so glad I never went to regular college, watching it on MTV is way more fun.
Jonathon Taylor Thomas sort of looks like a baby camel. I saw this really bad indie he was in called Speedway Junky, on Showtime today. He played this little bisexual street hustler, probably did this in between seasons of Home Improvement in an attempt to shed his wholesome image or something. It was um REALLY bad. Taryn Manning was in it too, playing yet another little haggardly street rat. If it ain’t broken, I guess… I was almost in a movie with JTT, actually. An industry contact I’d made on the set of this indie I worked on last year knew about this film being developed and submitted me for one of the roles. The producers really liked me and I was sent a copy of the script, but it all sort of fizzled down (as is often the case in Indieland) and I haven’t heard much about it anymore. But JTT was apparantly signed on to play the lead role, and I was up for the role of one of his best friends. How much fun would that have been? As far as I know, it’s still lost in pre-production/financing or something… maybe it’ll get off the ground someday. Maybe pigs will fly. Maybe JTT will finally fess up to this.
I am still struggling with my ongoing battle against iced tea. It’s not making my teeth any whiter! I must stop! But this sweet brew is like LIFE BLOOD to a Texas Boy. You can’t stop the bumrush, kids. 