I found out today that I’ve been losing a small fortune on my Metrocard for the past few months. Awhile back, I signed up for this Transitcheck thing through work, which deducts a certain amount from my paychecks and then presents me with a monthly unlimited Metrocard. Well, this only happened one month and then I never got another one, so I figured we stopped our account with them or something. I just started buying mine through the MTA ATM’s again, no big deal. Yeah, well… I found out today that the one Metrocard they sent me before? is ANNUAL. Unbeknownst (and unexplained, for that matter) to me, I was not supposed to throw it away at the end of that first month — b/c they fucking just keep auto-renewing it and continue deducting from my checks. What does this mean exactly? It means that for the past two months, I have been blowing twice the money on Metrocards: $70 a month through work, and $84 a month through my own stupidity. Guess I know where my money’s been going… They told me @ work that I basically am fucked, b/c regardless of the fact that I threw my Metrocard away, Transitcheck has been faithfully renewing that card for months and it’s not their fault that I didn’t realize the way it worked. I should have paid closer attn and noticed that I was still being charged for that shit, but since I get direct deposit I never pay attn to my pay stubs. DAMMIT. But whatever. I will STILL be marching my ass down to the Transitcheck offices tomorrow afternoon to see how big a ruckuss I need to raise in order to get some kind of reimbursement — and I mean INSTANT REFUND, cuz my landlord sort of hates it when the rent check says I Owe You.

Ugh, when I think about how much money I’ve wasted these last few months it makes me wanna punch myself in the face. I’m learing my lessons. Hardcore, man. Fucking hurts like bitch.

On the upside, I got an hour of overtime tonight — and will be getting 8hrs more of it this Friday, which’ll add some much-needed heft to my next check. My one-year anniversary @ Hudson is also coming up this month, and I know I’m supposed to be getting somee kind of raise after that, too. Good. Good. And work was actually smooth and fun tonight! It’s Fashion Week or something and the hotel is once again buzzing about with pretentious pretty ppl (none of them prettier or more pretentious than the Hudson staff, so no worries). The little fashionistas tend to keep to themselves for the most part, and make big presentations of being unimpressed by our hotel. It’s a fun little show but I’m not buying it. These are the same ppl who, later this weekend, will be calling up everyone they know on their cellphones to come meet them @ the hotel bar. Ohhh, what an entertaining week this will be… thank God I’ve got my co-workers to keep things light. They always make the bullshit a bit more bearable.

Saw a promo today for MTV’s Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet, the latest installment of my guiltiest TV pleasure. Um… meh. Despite what I hear, it doesn’t look terribley good or anything. This year’s cast sort of sucks, it’s like they picked all the lamest people from all the recent, lame seasons and just didn’t think about it at all. I will definately be tuning in, I’m sure. We’ll see, though…

Well, I am once again completely flabbergasted by Justin Timberlake. People, I don’t even know where to begin. In just a few months, I’ve gone from being annoyed with the boy, to lusting after the boy, then back to loathing the boy for his behavior @ the VMA’s, and am now back to loving him again. Why do you toy with me, Justin? His new single “Senorita” is slowly becoming a damn anthem, I saw the Details cover last week and had to sit the hell down and read the full article immediately, and then tonight he was on Ellen and just charmed the hell out of America. Damn this kid. I really don’t want to like him but I do. Dammit. I have no idea what it is, he’s just intriguing. I want his mojo, and I want for us to be buddies… buddies who shop together and bitch about how stupid ex-girlfriends are, and then we just “console” each other till the pain goes away. To me, that’s what a true friendship is all about. No questions asked, yknow? Friends in need, and whatnot.*

You should all take a few minutes to go read Jory. His blog is becoming something of a regular stop on my daily webwanderings and he’s definately worth reading. I love that he takes all of the pics on his site with the camera in his tiny cellphone.

Ohhh, so my oldschool cellphone, btw, is working like a charm. I just charge it @ night and it’s good for me for all the next day—and then some! Finally, some normalcy that actually makes me happy. My palm pilot is also all kinds of digital goodness, altho I must make it a point to put it away once the train has passed 125th Street. Three rounds into a heavy game of Tetris on the way home tonight, I looked up and realized I was straightup slumming in the Bronx. That’s just not good for ANYBODY, you know?

*(Ok, that shit? was TMI! I’m sorry. I promise never to subject you to innuendo like that again.)

My Yahoo! Horroscope Alert today:
Taurus - Now you get fame and immunity. You’re beautiful when you believe in yourself.

My Yahoo! Inbox Alert:
You are using 89% of your 6.0MB limit. Get a bigger mailbox or your inbox will shut down!

I feel like I’ve been lied to.

I stood at the subway entrance staring @ this for about 10 minutes.

It was an actual plasma screen playing a TV ad. There were about 3 or 4 of them playing on a loop, really short ones. I was just immersed in the whole thing. I was standing on the street corner staring @ a commercial! When did they start this? I LOVE it! I swear, technology is just speeding along like nobody’s business. The day I see one of these things mounted onto a tree in Central Park is the day I’ll sing and dance like a maniac maaaaaniac through the streets of Manhattan.

I spent much of my afternoon on the phone and online, just sorting out some bills and doing serious-like things. I returned that big bag of clothes @ H&M today. The guy at the counter was like, “All of it?” and I just nodded and sobbed. I had to close my eyes on the way out, all of the pretty clothes were screaming after me, begging me to come back and buy them. I had to plug in my headphones and crank the shit out of Annie Lennox to drown it all out. “No More I Love You’s”, indeed… but it’s gonna put about $190 back into my checking and that’s what matters. I also dropped by Hudson on the way uptown and got my overtime shift back from my co-worker. I played it off like it was no big deal, like “I can totally take that shift back from you, by the way, cuz my plans fell through…”, but I know she totally saw the desperation in my eyes. It was so fucking embarassing.. but yu know what? We do what we have to do. Big wheel keeps on turning, Spriteboy keeps on burning. I’m lucky to have gotten that overtime this week, really, and I’m just glad my coworker was cool with giving it BACK to me. She rocks. The ppl @ Crunch were not as moved by my desperation, however, and are probably gonna make this whole Membership Cancellation thing much more difficult than it has to be. Bastards.

Walking around the city today really made me feel better. I wandered across the park this evening, enjoying the wet breeze, and dropped in on my trusty sidekick Randyboy, who recently escaped Queens obscurity and relocated to the Upper East Side. He was waiting for his laundry to dry, so I bummed around the hood with him for a bit. I always sort of assumed most of the area was dead and boring, full of office buildings and department stores… but it’s actually a really gorgeous part of town. Had fun with Randy, he always pulls me out of my head and helps me enjoy things on a broader level. Talking with my parents today helped too. It’s funny how your folks can just IRK you for weeks and weeks, and then out of nowhere, they can catch you on the phone in the middle of the worst time… and they just happen to say exactly everything you so needed to hear.

So, until my cash flow is better, I’ll be resorting to some straightup oldschool for all my cellular needs. This was the first cell that came with my plan and I totally forgot I had it till today. Still works, I’m charging it up right now. I also found my old palm pilot tonight, which I haven’t really used in like a year. I used to be so addicted to that thing! I just synced it up to my email Address Book and updated everything, downloaded some more new things on it too. I’m so glad I rediscovered it! With all the games and fun things I’ve got stored on there, my late subways rides home will be long but prosperous.

I’ve decided to hang onto my cable TV. My life would just be moot w/o it. If there is any indication that I’ve made the right choice, it’s gotta be The Ellen DeGenerous Show. That woman is fucking funny. Also, I’m really anxious to catch an episode of that new HBO show Carnivale. I missed the premiere on Sunday so I’ve gotta catch the rerun tomorrow.

On the homefront: my little sister was checking her upcoming work schedule @ the Wal-Mart Photo Lab recently, and under her name, she spotted a new addition to the staff. The new trainee’s name: Mary Cherry. I fucking love it.

I went to the ATM tonight during my lunchbreak and took out $20 for some McDonald’s. And for some reason, for the first time in forever, I actually LOOKED @ the reciept. . . . WHAAA?! No joke, man. Poverty has hit me like a BITCH, and NO I’m not doing that whole Dude-I’m-so-broke schtick that I see on all the damn blogs. My checking account balance has PLUMMETED since I looked at it last week and for the first time ever, I’m actually kinda nervous about making rent next month. Ugh, this is so not cool. I hit H&M with a motherfucking VENGANCE the other day, and now? I’ll be taking all of that cuteass gear BACK for a full refund. Words cannot express the pain this strikes in my heart. Everything that can go back will go back. I’m cancelling Netflix, cancelling online pay-site subscriptions (i.e. PORN), blocking my ability to use long distance, doing my damnest to weasel out of my gym membership, and holding on all plans to get a new cellphone. Ugh, it’s like I’m putting myself on a diet or something. And to make things even worse? I actually got scheduled overtime this week and I was annoyed that they put it on my sched w/o asking me first — SO I FUCKING GAVE IT AWAY! A moment too damn soon. Shit. SHIT.

This all just feels so fucking lame. I’d normally mask all of this stuff with flippant little jokes and random comments to show that it’s not that big a deal and that I know that life goes on… but ugh, man. It’s 4am and I’m thinking too much and it’s one of those nights. I won’t even front. I HATE MONEY.

In other embarassing news: I just found out that I’m never fully SEEN in “Mission: Idiot”. Like, seen up close. The director decided not to reveal my face or use any of my closeups (to sort of build up the whole absurdity of my character being such A PRESENCE), which I guess is cool b/c the film is doing really well at festivals right now and I hear that my scenes are really cracking the audiences up. This makes me happy b/c so much of what I did was vocal, I worked hard on the tone and talked in ways I NEVER do in real life, so it’s cool to me that it carried over well w/o having to see any of my gestures. But at the same time, it’s like, part of the point is to be seen, dammit! Ugh. Just kinda dissappointing.

I am fighting hard to stay on the high that I started today on. I actually had a great weekend. Caught Pirates of the Carribean with some of my dawgs the other night, which I really liked. Just made me giggle a lot. All the rain is totally making me happy and I also made some more muffins! Things are totally cool right now… they just feel shitty now that I’m all worried about money. I’ve prided myself on not ever worrying about it, on always having this sort of “cushion” sitting in my checking account. It only recently began to dawn on me that living alone and paying all the bills by myself while continuing to go to movies and eat out and buy things whenever I felt like it? sort of DEFLATES that cushion. Everything has caught up with me and I’m no longer ahead of things. And it SUCKS.

Don’t feel sorry for me. In fact, don’t even look @ me. No, for real. Just don’t. If you all liked me to begin with, you’d just start throwing stones RIGHT NOW.

So, I spent the afternoon @ Hudson soaking up the latest corporate scheme that’s revolutionizing the service industry of Ian Schrager Hotels: the EDGE. Yes, dammit, that’s a witty acronym for providing an Engaging Dynamic Guest Experience. Heh, riiiiight. Actually, it went really well. I kind of enjoyed the 5hrs of team building excersizes, making cut-n-paste collages, and doing the role-playing stuff. It was fun! (Fear not, winners, I’ve not sold out to the Corporate Dark Side, I’d just much rather spend my afternoons playing games and getting paid for it, as opposed to standing around at the desk checking 1,000 ppl in).

Ohh, big big love to Clint for the Nokia tip. I’m looking into it, man, altho it breaks my heart to jump from the Motorola ship. Those bastards just make the coolest phones. So long, Moto.

Well, I had an amazingly smooth and groovy week. Finally got over my post-D.C. blues and hit a sweet NYC stride. For some reason, work wasn’t nearly as awful this week as I’d anticipated. I went out with some of my NYC dawgs last night afterwork, which was fun b/c I never do shit like that during the workweek. The 10th Ave Lounge is pretty kickass. I got to meet some new ppl and hang with a Randall. Woot! I also had me a nice little stroll uptown tonight, the weather was just so nice. I haven’t done that in I don’t know how long, man. It was great. Wandered into Tower Records and rented a few DVD’s (for some reason I keep forgetting to update my Netflix list). I’m home now. Windows wide open, spagehtti sauce is cooking on the stove, and I’ve got 18 episodes of Sex & the City Season 4 to watch. Tomorrow is my day off and I plan to just bum around all I can. I’m gonna sleep in late, have lunch there, and spend all day long wandering Soho and stocking up on my H&M gear. It’s supposed to rain, too. Hard! All Weekend! I can’t hardly wait.

There’s a big article on Metrosexuals in the new issue of Details. There’s another one in Metro Source. Just an FYI.

You know, I have to say I’m proud of myself for having a good time at the workshop today. Most of the things they talked about were not actually jabs at our lack of work ethic, but merely constructive tips on how to add more to it. They showed us video clips of Mr. Schrager himself, reading from his private journal and talking about his goals and visions for his properties when he first began opening them. Basically, he’s over the whole cool, hip, Studio 54-feel and wants us to be nicer. And apparently? once this whole “new approach to service” is fully implemented, we’ll have much more freedom to make final decisions w/o having to consult a manager everytime a problem arises — officially. That both frightens and excites me all at once. I actually walked out of the board room with a pleasant smile on my face and a tiny little bit of pride in what I do. As much as I bitch about it (and as much reason as I have to do so), there are definate times when I honestly do love my job. I literally spend my evenings standing in the center of it all, where music pounds through the lobby and gorgeous ppl wander around pretending not to be impressed by what they see. Occassionally I deal with cool people, sometimes I even have a good time. Hell, I’m basically paid to smile and be atmosphere — what’s there to complain about? And despite the bullshit? I like getting to interact with hundreds of total strangers every day. Of course, I’ll probably take this all back in a few days when I’m OVER IT, and I’ll curse the fucking EDGE for all the lies it told me. But for now let’s just indulge me.

It was September 11th today. Unlike last year, I hardly thought about it at all. Life just keeps going. And while the city lives on, I’m glad that Aaron posted this.

* their menu, btw? fucking cracks my shit up.

I was stuck in the backoffice @ work last night when my bud Ben from Concierge stopped by to let me know “some tall guy” stopped in looking for me. I began browsing my mental rolodex for all the tall ppl I know… basically everyone is taller than me, dammit so I had no clue who it was. “He had to go,” Ben explained, “but he left this for you”. Plopped down a red transulcent cd case — and in it, a mixed CD! Then I checked my messages. It was from P!

I love the CD. I make them SO often for ppl and I never get any in return, so this just fucking made my night. Sorry, I missed you, P! You’re CD is gorgeous and it makes me all kinds of happy. I know what it means.

I checked Amy Grant and her band into the hotel last night. It took all of my strength not to laugh in her face and start screaming, “Harlot! Sinner! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boooooooo!” I totally remember when she “departed” from Christian Pop Music. God, we miss her.

I spent my much-anticipated day off cleaning up my wreck of an apt. Scooped up the heap of clothes from my closet floor, sorted the clean ones from the dirty ones, threw out the stuff I no longer wear, and hung up all the good stuff. Then I moved on to my kitchen. Cleaned out the fridge and freezer, cabinets came next, emptied out the dishwasher, and swept the dining room floor. Then I ran up the street and loaded up on groceries. Came home, put them all away, and made some calls. Later on I zipped downtown to meetup with Randyboy for a trip to Target, where we loaded the hell up on all kinds of stuff — Randy with a coolass boombox, and myself with the essential pop-tart/cereal/underwear/scented candle/hairputty restock. I got home, put everything away, took a shower, made dinner, and hopped online where I paid some bills, read the VMA recap (damn near died laughing) and cleaned out all of the trash in my email accounts. Took a quicktrip downstairs and across the lobby to catchup with BJ (which was nice and comforting) and tossed out some garbage bags while I was down there. Then I came back upstairs and spent a few hours clearing out, reshuffling and reorganzing my web files. Little things, yeah. But it felt like a productive day.

I re-listened to that “Adam’s Song” track by Blink 182 the other day and it’s been a damn anthem all over again. What a great song, kind of deep too, for such . What the hell happened to those guys? They kind of rocked for a little while and then they went away. Now all I have to satisfy my pop-alternative rock cravings are the sad, tired tunes by groups like The Ataris and The All American Rejects.

So, I know I’m supposed to say that I don’t pay attn to my site stats (cuz that what all the aloof, unimpressed bloggers like to say) but who are we kidding here? I check my stats all the time! It’s fun to see who’s reading you and linking to you. Is it why I keep a webjournal? Nope. Is it why I write the things I write? Nope. But let’s face it, I wouldn’t have this damn website if I weren’t just a little bit into myself. So yes, I check my stats from time to time. Anyway, I’ve gotten crazy amounts of traffic recently from Jamie Kennedy’s website and I just can’t figure out how the hell that happened. I pretty much scream obsenities at the TV everytime that damn trailer for Malibu’s Most Wanted comes on. I had to sit through the 4,000 clips a day when that junk first came to theaters, and just when I finally thought I was free? now they’re releasing it on DVD and wont stop reminding me. Enough already. Jamie, if you’re reading this? please cut that crap out.

Caught two more little mice with those sticky traps tonight. Squirm for all eternity, you squeaky little fuckers. The mice have just been AWFUL for the past month or so. They used to be all sneaky and shit, running against the wall when I’d leave the room and turn out the lights… not anymore. I can be sitting on the futon watching me some Osbournes, and out comes a rabid little rodent straightup running across the middle of my well-lit living room floor, like he’s not the least bit scared of me. Shit. I signed up for my apt to get exterminated next week (hopefully), too. I can’t wait till I can leave a loaf of bread sitting out on my counter and not have to worry about coming home to it being all nibbled and nasty.

Oh, and also currently on my shitlist is my cellphone. I’m so fed up with it. I have to charge the damn thing every night just to get it working, and even then it’ll last maybe 4hrs before the battery is dead again — and I just replaced the stupid thing like 6 months ago and suddenly it’s needing a new one or someshit. UGH. I really would love it if I could just get a new one altogether, but alas, it’s not really an option right now what with me being in the poorhouse and all. But at least I still have my mag subscriptions, which are already paid for and just keep coming to my mailbox faithfully. Got the new, Fall 2003 TV Preview Entertainment Weekly over the weekend. A double issue with Alicia Silverstone on the cover! It’s making me all kinds of happy. I’m so glad that the world decided to give her another chance once she realized that no one cares about saving the rainforest monkees or whatever.

So, in light of this bullshit, I have once and for all disabled the mp3 download section of this site. I’m sorry, kids, but I just can’t risk being an even bigger target than I already am. Don’t worry. I’ve set up a special little something else for you (…did you click the link? Do it, cuz I won’t be mentioning it again) so bookmark it! Check it from time to time for secret little musical gifts from me to you, cuz you know I gotta keep all ya’ll hooked up and shit.

On a spiritual note? I would really like to thank the Lord for the blessing that is the Rechargeable Battery. I live and die by these little wonders. They just really make the world a better place.

I grabbed a pack of Betty Crocker chocolate chip cookie mix today @ the grocery store and realized that I don’t have any butter at home in my fridge, probably b/c I never cook anything other than scrambled eggs and chicken, and you don’t (so much) need butter for that mess. So I browsed the butter shelves in Dairy and happened upon an eye-catching 69-cent box of Happy Boy Margarine.

Whoever thought up this packaging should get a fucking award. Simple. Bold. And cute, dammit. Oddly enough, it really did make me happy.

I may or may not have been cast in a commercial last night.

I was on my way out of Hudson with some friends who’d stopped by at the end of my bottomless shift when one of the bellman flagged me down and relayed a confusing and broken message about somebody “over there” asking about me. Apparently, it was some girl who lives in the Hudson building (one of our secret 13th floor residents?) and apparently she was looking for me. “Huh?” They called over to a big mess of people (the front of the hotel is always busy) and out walks this young girl around 20 or so. She came up to me and shook my hand, introduced herself (Tess), and explained that she’d seen me around a few times, heard I was an actor, and had a friend who was casting for some TV commercial and needed a wee little man over 20yrs old and approx 5ft. Now, I stand small and proud @ 5ft 4 (5ft 5 on a good day with my BIGASS shoes) and look relatively young (on a good day and in the right lighting I can be a 15yr old popstar) so I’m hoping this works out! ROCK! I gave Tess my number and hopped along home, trying not to be too happy about what might not even pan out to begin with. It all happened pretty fast. When I got home, the friend she was talking about had already called me and left me a voicemail. It was after 1am so I didn’t bother calling back. But uh… WOO-HOO! I’m gonna call her back later on today.

It’s been a longtime since I felt that kind of rush, an acting-related kind. Getting “spotted” was nice. Kind of just made me realize that all hope is not lost. I can still do this if I want to.

In other star-moments: doesn’t the boy in this salon ad look a lot like Bravo?