Razzle Dazzle Em
February 15th, 2004I had an epiphany this evening while glancing up at the mammoth crystal chandelier that looms above me at the front desk in the Hudson lobby.
Look closely. The chandelier is gorgeous. It’s a quarter million, one-of-a-kind peice by Ingo Mauer and it glows bright from all angles of the main floor… or so it seems. There’s not a lamp or lightbulb on entire thing — it’s actually lit entirely by spotlights that surround it, and if you look even closer, you can also see the small hollogram slates affixed to its edges — illuminating images of light bulbs. They were a last-minute touch to the chandlier just before opening night. So, essentally, this oversized, beautiful shock to your senses is a great big dazzling trick; it gives off the impression of light rather than actually lighting anything at all. Much like the oversized and beautiful hotel itself, which gives off the impression of hospitality and service rather than actually deliverying any.
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
Rough night at work. I’m getting so sick of dissappointing people, but there’s only so much I can do with deficient materials. I need resources, man. I took a break from the usual scheming and decieving at the front desk tonight and played big flaming florist/set designer for a little bit.
(Yes, the rooms are really that small!)
It made me feel better.
VD Rocks My Body Right
February 14th, 2004And so, for the first time in 25 years, Sprite finally has a Valentine. My funny valentine, who made me a mixed cd, wined and dined me @ right proper resturant, even let me doze off @ the Rufus concert (dude, the music is so pretty it just makes me tired), and then took me home and rocked me all night long. (Did you know the common necktie has many, many uses?) Not bragging, just boasting. You know how we do.
Happy VD to you all. 
Take it anywhich way you wish.
UPDATE: Dude, I found CAMP on DVD @ BORDERS in the TimeWarner Center this afternoon! All this time I thought I’d have to wait till the official release date at the end of the month! I didn’t even know that had a bookstore up in there. I didn’t even know they sold DVD’s. What the hell?! God, I love this movie. Flashbacks from last summer, man. How shall I see you through my tears? You don’t even know.
Snuck out of work an hour early and metup with Randyboy and Mr. Badwound and his merry crew @ The Monster to finish the night off. Dancing, laughing, strutting, and catching the last A train express home. It was a great end to a great day.
Friday the 13th
February 13th, 20041. Are you superstitious?
Not at all. Can’t nobody take my pride can’t nobody hold me down. Gotta keep on moving, and whatnot.
2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?
An old roommate of mine used to have to call her mom EVERY NIGHT before going to bed, b/c she said that if a night went by where they didn’t speak then in the morning somebody in their family might die.
3. Believer or not, what’s your favorite superstition?
Everytime you masturbate God kills a kitten. Pet Cemetaries are a necessary evil.
4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?
I believe things happen the way they’re supposed to. Greater purpose, bigger picture, grand design. All that stuff. I do have a lucky outfit that has gotten me some play on a few occasions, though.
5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
I think there’s such a harmony to the universe that we’ll never be able to full figure it out. Astrology just seems like another attempt at impressing ourselves with an understanding we’ll never really posess. But it’s fun to read into.
My horoscope today:
You might be feeling very communicative today, dear Taurus. Concentration, logical thinking and a heightened ability to put ideas into words enhance your own communicative abilities. Therefore, your gift of going directly to the point of whatever matters is likely to clear any previously clogged channels, impressing others and increasing your self-confidence.
Funny, cuz when I was cursing the hell out of the FedEx guy over the phone for not delivering my mom’s package within the garunteed 2 days? I totally felt like we were clearly communicating.
So for just about $10 more, I just upgraded my cable service to include a 3rd premium channel (hello, Skinemax!) and now I get DVR, which just excites me to no end. I love that you can record all that stuff and transfer whatever you want to a videotape too. Can I afford this shit? Not really, but will that ever stop us?
My hotel’s General Manager stopped into the lobby last night and pulled me aside. I braced myself for the inevitable “You need to start fixing your hair” speech, but instead he was all, “I heard through the chain that you want to move to Concierge. Is that right?” *ahem* I did my best to present the illusion of a person who WASN’T about to scream, “Hallejuah!” and just nodded. We talked about it a bit and he said he wanted to help me out and get me over there, b/c he thinks they could use me. I’m not doing any backflips over this yet (this is the same guy who, drunk after dinner in our resturant, mentioned moving one of my NEW coworkers up to a manager), but it IS a good sign that he knows I’m unhappy at the Front Desk. I didn’t smell any alcohaul on his breath or see any funny white powder around his nose, but if all else fails and our little chat was in fact just drunken babble, I can at the very least hold him accountable to his offer and make a really big deal out of it. Any way I can, man… any way I can.
I’m fighting the big draw of the Time Warner Building (are we NOT calling it the AOL Time Warner Bldg @ all now?). I know I’m supposed to hate it b/c it’s pure evil and shit, but I pass it everytime I head to work and it’s slowly pulling me in. I just can’t fight it, man. Don’t get me wrong. I still full-on host some seriousass snobbery for that big ugly thing (it’s just not that amazing, by Manhattan design standards), it’s like a big chunk of Jersey suburbia in the middle of everything… but I’ve gotta admit, they’ve got everything. Whole Foods Market is no joke, I’ve rolled up into Jamba Juice about 1400 times since they opened last week (no for real, the kids at the counter know me by name now).
Spent a good portion of my evening afterwork last night chatting with Jimmy over @ Ultralucid.com. Such a cool guy and I’m really jealous of his big week of fun in New Orleans. I freaking love that town. Razoo, Oz, and Club 735 are the shit.
Ohh, and Kyle, I hate you for this. Only in a cruel and hateful world does a DVD get released in DC before it does in New York City. Somebody ordered pancakes I just sip the sizzurp, it’s enough to drive a sane man bizzurp. (God bless you and that wired jaw, Kayne West!) So yes. Gloat all you want, you wretched boy, but know this: I am officially not introducing you to the Jake Gyllenhall lookalike who works @ the Jamaba Juice I go to. And also? that guy Vlad? I got to undress with him everyday in the boys locker room at school. Suck on that, innit. 
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. For the first time ever, I’m happy about it. Heading out to the Rufus Wainright concert later tonight with Randyboy to start things off. Can’t wait to see that boy… Rufus too.
I just found out that Lifetime reruns those old episodes of Ellen (the sitcom, not the talkshow)! Words cannot express what joy this brings into my life, winners.
Not Forgotten
February 11th, 2004
“I thought by the age of fifteen I’d have a love life… but I don’t even have a like life.”
I love you, Angela Chase. I’ll never forget you or your gloomy highschool hallways. God bless your self-absorbed folks and retarded little sister that just couldn’t get puberty to be her friend. My love to that dumber-than-a-pile-of-rocks Jordan, spastic Rayanne, sad and bumbling Brian, post-virginal Sharon, and dear sweet Rickie. You all came into my life ten years ago and just cranked my angst up. The ABC network may have cast you all aside and sentanced you to doom, but I DO believe in reruns! I DO believe in reruns!
Friday, April 2nd, ya’ll. Act like you know.
Also? both Camp and the first season of Roswell are coming out on DVD next week. (Did you know Roswell has been rerunning on the Sci-Fi Channel?!) Words cannot express the longing in my heart.
Breathing Easy
February 9th, 2004My mom has had me on the edge of a migrane for about a week. She kept calling me, wanting to know what my work schedule would be like and what the actual street address was, and what days and hours I’d be at home this week. I’ve been highly suspicious that she was gonna pull a big no-no and drop a suprise trip up from Texas, but it turns out the fuss is just over where I’ll be so she can send me a Valentine’s Day package. Awww. Talk about a sigh of relief.
Got a call from Edd tonight, that sexyass blogger from Barcelona. He’s been bouncing all over the states all month and will be making his way to London for a bit, but is finally rolling up into the city later this week so I can’t wait to meetup with him. I have a feeling we’re gonna have to do it up right and proper: pictures, clubs, drinks, cab rides, the whole played-out bit. It’s just how we do things when there’s a foreigner among us. He’s got the cutest accent, reminds me of “Fez” from That 70′s Show. Hey, don’t hate. Wilmer Valderrama is totally hot, and I totally don’t begrudge him for not going through with the gay kiss in Party Monster. I wouldn’t have touched Macaulay Culkin either. While I’m getting ready to kick it with Edd soon, I’m also checking into some cheapass April fares for Matty through that Virgin Airlines hookup of mine. All this and I totally forgot about Rob coming to visit next Friday! Canadians, Spaniards, and Brits, oh my!
I filed my taxes! I REALLY am fucking excited about it, actually, cuz I did it all myself. Normally I overpay somebody @ H&R Block to get my shit in order, itemize my deductions, and then tell me how much I owe. This year, I went with TurboTax and it was awesome! I did it all on my own and it barely took an hour — I even figured in all my deductions and everything, and although I’m not getting a big refund (I actually owe $143) it’s HUGE load off my mind to know I’m not gonna be $1,000+ in the red like last year. I also checked with my Student Loan Provider and my request for forebearance was granted so that buys me a good year to stay on top of my credit card bills and keep things under control w/o having to make those pesky monthly payments. 
Money has been a big headache lately, and while I’m not totally in the clear, it just feels GREAT to know I can breathe easy for a little bit and not stress my way to through the end of tax season.
I was supposed to go out tonight, but I’m actually really glad I stayed in. Got a lot of shit sorted out and damn, it feels like about 20lbs of pressure off my chest. Now, it’s time to relax…. My Netflix order just arrived and I’ve got Behind the Scenes featurettes and director commentaries for both Willy Wonka and Newsies to catch up on. “There’s no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going…” Gene Wilder fucked me up as a kid, man.
Admittance
February 8th, 2004So I’ve been cleaning out my life from top to bottom all this past week. I’ve been coming home from work just restless and antsy, attacking the kitchen and bathroom, scrubbing things spotless, putting away dirty dishes, hanging up clothes, sorting laundry to get done, settling some lingering bills, and even cleaning up my computer hardrive. Last week was long and exhausting, a really emotional one and I’m still a little disoriented… Some headaches and heartaches, the kind of frustration you fell when all you wanna do it cry and punch stuff. It sucks, b/c you go through these things and end up just experiencing too much grown-up reality at once. And even though certain aspects of life and relationships now seem simplified and clearly labeled as a result, you just kind of wish you could’ve skipped it all and been smiling and happy instead.
I totally forgot the Grammy’s were on tonight, forgot to record them, dammit. Coldplay’s “Clocks”, Xtina’s “Beautiful”, Outkast’s “Hey Ya”, Missy’s “Work It”, Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”, and the theme song to A Mighty Wind all got awards, so I’m cool with the rest of everything else.
Man, those commercial ads for that 2-disc compilation set “The Buzz” looks really good. I’m loving every single one of those songs, they’re like all late 90′s alternative-rock hits. Eve 6, the Cranberries, Better Than Ezra, Filter, ugh. I doubt that any of you will ever understand that “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?” by R.E.M. will be a damn anthem for life. I’m a sucker for these late=90′s mixes, those songs are like old maps of my self.
You may have noticed the new poll on my entry page (I finally updated it), and before you get all, “What the fuck?!” on me, let me explain. For some reason, this here self-indulgent site of mine has gotten popular. Hell, way too many of you people out there just keep coming back, and you see, after the last surge of traffic these past few months, I’m having to shell out extra chingy for additional bandwith just to keep things going. Since I don’t happen to sell any original artwork or tantilize the world wide web with half-nekked pics of myself, I’ve gotta bank on the fact that you’re all coming to my journal for the rants, raves, and to hear my lopsided take on things. If push came to poverty, Would you winners pay a one-time fee of $1 to keep reading this mess? Thanks to the miracle of PayPal, we can work this shit out if we need to. Don’t worry, I’m all about keeping it fun and keeping it live for you, so things basic journal access and shit will stay password-free for as long as I can afford to do so… just tossing a “feeler” out there to shake your asses, watch you all, and see what I’m working with. Whatever. It’s all for you winners. Ahh, ok… for me too.
Don’t go see The Dreamers, by the way. I don’t know why the hell I thought Michael Pitt would do anything other than SUCK. The movie would’ve been so much better if Jake Gyllenhaal had played the lead role afterall.
Did anybody see last week’s episoide of Angel? I hardly watch this show, but ever since the death of Buffy (which really began when it moved networks) I’ve just been dying for a fix of some of the old-school wit I’m so used to… Fortunately, I lucked out b/c they brought “Cordelia” back from her coma AND “Lindsey” back from the dead. Interestingly enough, Christian Kane checked into the hotel the very next night after I saw the show, walked into the lobby totally westerned out: jeans, flannel, denim jacket, cowboy hat, tinted sunglasses on. I was like, “Dude, it’s fucking 10pm and you’re inside the building. Take those damn things off your face. And take off the shirt too.” Ok, not really. I checked him in and even got all annoying — sent a martini set up to his room with a note that said, “Mr. Kane, my friends would outright kill me if I didn’t buy ‘Lindsey’ a drink. Enjoy your stay with us, and sorry again about that whole death thing.” Fortunately, he had a sense of humor and actually came down the desk laughing about it and thanked me. I helped him most all weekend, he gave me a hug when he left today. Such a cool guy. I actually remember him from way back in the day when he was the dumbhick “Ryan” on that show Fame L.A.. Fame L.A. was the shit, man! I sung along with that theme song like a mofo. He was also on that MTV movie Love Song with Monica, he was all jungle fever-stricken and she was like, “Oh hell no.” Wait, can I say jungle fever? Christian Kane is a winner, he rocks it out for us little guys under 5’5″.
I am both blessed and bemused by having wonderful, foolass friends who tolerate and understand my need to sometimes spend a Friday night on my sofa watching DVD’s and eating chorizo. Or friends who force me from the confines of my apartment and make me go out and have fun — and even jump (when I’m struggling) to pay my way, my homeboy’s way, and sometimes my cousins way. Or friends who I never get to see or much talk to, but who absolutely lift my spirits just by sending me text messages and IM’s. It’s damn insane that I have such good, loving people in my life. What the truck, man? They’re just too good to be true.
Move over, Target. My newest love and life-fixture is the Jamba Juice inside Whole Foods @ the lower level of the Empire of Evil (i.e. Time Warner Building). Dudes, let’s talk about just $4.95 for a bigass Strawberry Tsunami — and it lasts me through an entire shift at work. I can grab anytime I’m headed to/from the A train at the Columbus Circle stop! Hells yeah.
I saw Cashetta (the hostess of Buffy & Bingo Mondays @ Urge) @ the 10th Avenue Lounge last night. I was all, “Cahetta, it’s you! Hi, remember me?! I sit up at the front every week for Money Wheel and I never win.” She just kinda smiled politely and wandered off. 
I’m waiting for the day she looks at me from the stage and says, “You know, kid, I get PAID to be at this fucking place every Monday night. What’s your excuse?” What’s my excuse, indeed.
Redeeming Melissa
February 5th, 2004Did you guys see Julie on the last episode of The Inferno? She almost killed Veronica! She’s fucking INSANE, man. Melissa caught all this flak for calling out and dismissing her Mormon ass back when they did Battle of the Sexes, but now it all kind of makes sense.
“I just wanna letcha know that I don’t like you. We’re not friends, b/c I find you? to be very dishonest. I know you’ve got your smug little smile on and you think this is cute, but it’s not. You’re a backstabber and a liar. You’ve talked shit about me and you still haven’t apologized. You’re an asshole. I want you to stay the hell away from me and keep my name out of your fucking mouth!”
Shout it from the rooftops! What fun drama, man. Poor Melissa. I’m hoping this show is gonna redeem her some… she weathered some serious shit for that little smackdown, but what she said was true. I guess that’s what you get when you get too trusting of clueless 19 year olds, right? Stay tuned, ya’ll. The drama is ON!
(Hell yeah, I watch way too much TV.)
Bump It With a Trumpet
February 4th, 2004Does anybody else ever watch WE reruns of Two Guys & a Girl? I didn’t watch a single episode of this show when it was on the air (wasn’t it originally Two Guys, a Girl & a Pizza Place?) but damn, it’s kind of funny. I leave it on when I’m cleaning up around the house or getting ready to head out for work. The little guy Pete just cracks me up.
So, the AOL Time Warner monstrousity officially opened today. It’s right across the street from Hudson, so I’ve been watching it’s slow ascension for the past 2 years. I remember when that whole section of the circle was just a big empty civic center and there were little amish markets and vendor booths setup outside of it every day. I used to hang out there during my breaks between classes. Now the circle looks absolutely nothing like it did before. It feels creepy to come up outta the 59th Street Subway and see that mammoth peice of evil standing right there, reigning dark and supreme over Columbus Circle like the evil eye thing from Lord of the Rings.
I’ve been toying with the idea of possibly bringing on a roommate again. I know I vowed to never share my space again, but the truth is it’s just getting harder and harder to cover all my bills, expenses, and still be able to pay rent all by myself. AMEX just sent me a letter notifying me that my credit limit has been reduced, I’ve got to file (and most likely pay back) my taxes soon, rent goes up in April, and I’m just not making enough money to do it all anymore. No I don’t wanna live with anyone, but sharing the rent while it’s still my CHOICE is better than having to do it later b/c I’m in way over my head, right? Having a roommate would be so much easier, I could stop having to pack all my lunches and I’d finally be able to go out a little bit more… it’s tempting. On the other hand, I really love my independance. I’m still not sure what I’m up for doing. Money is no joke lately. It sucks, Valentine’s Day is just 10 days away. It’ll be the first time in my life that I’m not flying solo, and I can’t really even afford to do it up right and shit.
A new RANT is up, by the way.
I went to see Gypsy tonight. It was the first Broadway show I’d seen in a longass time and damn, it was really good. I remember seeing the movie on TV when I was younger so I kind of knew what it was about. Bernadette Peters is playing the lead role of Mama Rose, and I gotta say, she seems about off her game these days. I’m sure she’s totally earned her cred and is worth all the fuss people make about her, but I honestly had a hard time understanding her most of the time tonight — a lot of her dialogue and songs came out in jumbles, just kind of slurred together in that little voice of hers. Still an amazing show. She has this big big number at the end where her character performs like, her dream, once-in-a-lifetime kind of song and the entire audience just lost their shit. I’m talking a good 45 seconds of pure ovation. And I sat there, clapping and smiling and I was a little bit misty-eyed, b/c I was thinking about what an amazing life-moment that must be for her. For any performer. To be standing on the stage of a historic theater in New York City, and you’ve just belted out one of the hugest showtunes in Broadway history, and the audience is RAVING about what you just did, and for a few minutes you get to cheat a little bit and break character and just soak all of it up for yourself — that entire moment belongs to you. And no one can take it away. Ever. I don’t know, it made me happy… and jealous. Just the actor in me that I’ve buried somewhere, I guess, and the emotion sort of just took over for a minute, it kind of felt good to feel that feeling thumping in my gut again. Brought back a few lost memories of my own theater days. Just a great experience, man. I really needed it. Ohh, and that number all the strippers do together, “You Gotta Get A Gimmick“, was fucking fantastic and I came home and downloaded the mp3. So if any of you happen to see me on the subway, iPod headphones jacked into my ears, and I happen to be clutching, humping, and spinning around the saftey pole in the middle of the car? just ignore me.
That group Maroon 5 sounds totally like old school Robbie Williams. Not this new Sinatra “swing music” version, but the old, pop-chart Robbie from like 1999 (I like that Robbie better). Haters can say what they want about him, but “Millenium” was the damn anthem and The Ego Has Landed is still one of my favorite albums.
In other news, I missed out on getting to hang with The Space Waitress and oh, what a world of sadness it brings. He’s one of my favorite bloggers, I like his whole angle — the stories of a gay male flight attendant. I was totally hoping to meetup with him and maybe score myself a few airline buddypasses, but hey, now there’s a bit of mystery between us. Always better to leave ‘em wanting more anyway, right?