Brothers & Sisters
March 12th, 20041. What was the last song you heard?
“Caught In the Middle” by the Sugarbabes.
2. What were the last two movies you saw?
- Barbershop. I’d never seen it before. Eve was funny: “Who the hell drank my goddamn apple juice?!”
- Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Let me make it unmistakingly clear that I did NOT pay a single cent to watch this shit, there was simply a bootleg version of it playing on the TV screens @ Luca Lounge the other night.
3. What were the last three things you purchased?
To my credit, it’s been a long time since I’ve done any frivolous spending at all, so it took me awhile to remember this.
- a gameboard @ Drag Queen Bingo last Monday ($2)
- a 10 peice chicken mcnugget meal @ McDonald’s ($4)
- a 3 day trial membership to an internet porn site (priceless)
4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
- pay my cable bill
- see M & J
- get a haircut
- make a Target run
- do something alone with Randy
(oops, that was five)
5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
- Ben. Turns out he knows the people who own
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.
- Bron, who appears to be determined.
- Joy. I swear there was some tongue in that goonight peck.
- Adam, just before he left town.
- Matty, who always makes me smile…
Spriteboy: Matty, what is “TUT”?
UK Matt: it is a noise of disapproval. do you not tut in america?
Spriteboy: no, we roll our eyes and say “Whatever”
UK Matt: ah yes
UK Matt: i have seen Clueless!
Spriteboy: have you seen it?!
UK Matt: yes! it is good
UK Matt: although she shouldnt marry her brother at the end
UK Matt: that’s a bit weird
Spriteboy: he’s not
UK Matt: is he not?
Spriteboy: no, he’s her EX STEP brother
UK Matt: oh
UK Matt: that would make more sense
Spriteboy: have yu thought all this time that he was her brother?
UK Matt: um maybe
UK Matt: but…
UK Matt: are they brother and sister in Cruel Intentions?
Spriteboy: Steps, again. but not Ex-steps. they’re currents.
UK Matt: americans…
Liquidating
March 11th, 2004Craigslist is amazing. A friend of mine used it and just found a no-fee 1 bedroom setup in the east village for $750. I was kicking it with him just a few days ago and suddenly he’s got an apartment in Alphabet City! He’s on 5th and A — fucking Avenue A @ 5th Street, can you believe it?! He’s the damn cast of RENT! This wonderfull bullshit is just that: wonderful and bullshit. Ugh, I can’t stand it.
Money is NOT a loyal constant in my reality these days. I bought this coolass printer on clearance @ Target a few weeks ago, and due to my lack of sufficient funds to party, looks like I’ll be taking it back for a refund. I’m also hauling in all my spare coins for cash(I actually went though all my coats for loose change, how humiliating), and resorting to a WALK-IN haircut with whoever can cut me up (as apposed to making a reservation and paying an extra $20 to get the guy I REALLY want, even MORE humiliating). I remember being a teenager who knew everything, watching those credit card consilidation commercials where people said things like, “I don’t know how I got into so much debt in just 5 years!”, and I’d think what idiots those people were. I’d snicker at them and just marvel at how impossible it actually is for people to burn through all their funds without even realizing it. Heh… funny how I find myself totally on the opposite end of that now.
Soup & Sprite
March 10th, 2004
Is it obvious how much I just love this thing? I spent a good 20 minutes just fiddling with all the templates and sending out e-cards to people. Big big love to Andy over @ Towleroad for the universal headsup… that guy is always getting me plugged into things. (Minds out of the gutter, people.)
I’ve deciphered a method to watching these Real World/ Road Rules Challenges. Even though the editing is WHACKED, you can figure out who stays on the show the longest by watching for who gets interviewed the most, and how many different interview clips they show of them. Usually, when the show ends, MTV brings the main kids BACK for “pick up interviews” to fill up holes in the footage and you can always tell b/c the lighting is shoddy and they look totally different than they do any other time of the show (no more tans, different haircuts, they’ve stopped working out). So far on The Inferno, I’m seeing a lot of during and post footage of Christina from Road Rules, and Mike and Julie from The Real World… but not so much of Coral, which makes me think that she doesn’t last very long in this challenge. But then again, they didn’t show much of Lori at all back during Battle of the Sexes yet she made it all the way to the end. Then of course, there are the BLOGS. Holly, Kendal, and Mike are all doing commentary on each episode on their blogs — which they probably wouldn’t do if they hadn’t been around for the whole show. Also, if you read Melissa’s blog you’ll know that she and Coral just came back from a trip to Brazil and Coral bought her all kinds of expensive shit for her birthday… SO, maybe Badass Coral DOES stay longer in the game to win more money. Hell, maybe she beats the fuck out of Julie and wins the game for everyone. I have no clue and it’s why I LOVE Monday nights. This stuff matters to no one in this world but me, and I’m totally cool with that. I own my loserness. I just get so invested in these damn shows!
Work dragged on like a mother tonight. I was all amped about Fefe Dobson checking back in (I’d gotten to talk to those juicy lips of hers a lot when she was there last month) and she ended up a no-show. I was bummed, she’s such a hottie. And when I got home, I had no new One Tree Hill to greet me, nor any new Netflix to console me. So I settled for heating up some leftovers and watching old episodes of Mama’s Family. Does anybody else remember this show? God, I looked forward to it every night. I was a bigger fan of the later seasons, when Vint and Naomi were all stupid and Bubba rocked those red Converse. Iola Boyland was my favorite, her handicrafts were the shit.
That Annie Lennox “Into The West” song from Lord of the Rings has been haunting me ever since she sang it @ the Oscars last weekend. I close my eyes and keep seeing those big eyes and that blonde hair, and I just keep hearing her, “A paaaaaale moooon riiiiiiiiiises…..” It’s a little bit scary.
Like This and Like That
March 8th, 2004After this morning’s flurry of coldass hateration/holleration in this dancerie — no, I’m not talking about the wet winds of Manhattan, but the recent juvenile tantrums on my Comments section from all them irate, pro-Martha Stewart-y Northwestern University kids in Chicago (these are the fools who worry me) — I began to realize that perhaps this hysterical article rang a bit too true for some of you and I’d be quickly overthrown by the anti-blogging movement. You know, by the people who get too invested in these journals we keep, taking offense at our opinions and resorting to schoolyard tactics to get attention… it’s just a little bit to the left of flattering, bordering on freaky, even. However, my faith in the random readers of this here blog was fully restored by an email I got this afternoon from that adorable and fiestyass Princess Melissa. My lovely babymomma (also not a stranger to some crazed website backlash, herself) once again cleared some Real World air and straightup gave me a shout-out in the new post on her page today, thanking me for that not-just-about-Julie post I did awhile back. It just put a big smile on my face, cuz you all know how insane in the brain I am about her. I got my eyes on you too, shorty, and please let it be said: “Woman, why don’t you be answering any of my pages? What’s up, you jeeping behind my back?” 
Now bounce your ass on over to the city and let’s get the party going the only way two people barely over 5ft tall can do. Holler.
Enjoying the hell out of that blogger over @ Stereogum.com. I love blogs with media-related content like this one, and I love that he got his site title from a Radiohead lyric. They play the hell out of that song @ work, man. I think his blog actually been around for a long time but I only just found it. Definately bookmark that one and check back. Good stuff.
So I’ve got a bigass tupperware container sitting on my kitchen table just overflowing with pennies, nickles, and dimes. Probably about 6 months of loose change in there. The other day I put it in my bag and lugged that heavy shit onto the train all the way downtown to the Food Emporium, where they have that machine that turns coinage into cash. I finally got there and the damn thing was out of order, which is okay I guess b/c they end up deducting a good chunk of the total as a service fee, but now I’ve got a crick in my neck and no cash bills to show for it. Dammit. Actually, I’m tempted to just get a bunch of those little paper rolls from the bank and sort it out myself, then just switch it out for cash but… ugh, whatever. What am I even talking about? I have no clue sometimes.
I’m off to a comedy show. My buddy Jo is debuting her new solo show tonight @ the Upright Citizens Brigade and I’m trying to be there on time. I just love her shit, man., although I’d be lying if I said I understood all of it. It’s sort of scary funny stuff; he just does her own thing and it never really stops being mesmerizing, which is very key. Out of everyone I graduated with, she’s probably become the most successful at the whole thing — everytime I turn around she’s appearing someplace new, or her act just got booked into a comedy festival. She’s gonna be a big star one of these days, and I need to be able to ride those coattails and say, “I came to your very first show, dude, so you owe me.” Just hustling, you know how we do.
Squad Leader
March 8th, 2004
“I’m still. Big. Red.”
Take the Key & Lock Her Up
March 7th, 2004
Bye-bye, Martha!
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Part of me feels for the old broad, and yet another part of me is happy to know that even the rich and powerful media moguls like her aren’t exempt from the law. I’m afraid strawberry jams and handwoven baskets ain’t gonna get you too far once you’re on the inside, Miss Stewart. Two words for you: FRESH MEAT. I recommend getting a tattoo and maybe befriending any burly fat women named Gladys or Big Red. Also? next time try and abiding by the law like the rest of us little people. It’s a good thing.
And while we’re on it, I think this applies to him too.
I had Mike’s back during the first round of all this, way back when. I really believed that it was all just about politics and money, greedy people trying to take him down for his eccentricity… but it never really got cleared out, did it? Just pushed out of the limelight. It seems like there’s something being hidden, but who knows. The truth always comes out in the end. Believe that.
Down With G-O-D?
March 5th, 2004
I watched the trailer for “Saved!” and just sat at my computer howling with laughter. The movie is about a young girl who becomes an outcast at her Christian high school when she gets pregnant. My babymomma Mandy Moore is dead-on perfect as the maniacally uberChristian good girl — when she throws the Bible at Jena Malone’s head and screams, “I am filled with Christ’s love!” I about lost my shit. The big cardboard Jesus, the attempted excorsim, the Christian academy uniforms, it’s all just too surreal. My high school was EXACTLY like this.
I can’t wait for this movie.
Youth
March 5th, 2004What was…
1. …your first grade teacher’s name?
Mr. Gordon. He and his wife ran Play Palace, a private school where I merrily attended kindergarden and 1st Grade. I idolized Mr. Gordon until the day he embarassed me in front of everyone for whispering to my friend. They all turned around and looked at me and went, “Ooooooh!” I hate when little kids go, “Oooooooh!”
2. …your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
I didn’t do the cartoon thing. I was much more a 1960/70′s sitcom-rerun kid. It was all about Lavern & Shirley, The Bionic Woman, and The Monkees. Me and my cousins would play The Monkees all damn day, which basically just meant we’d wear capes and run around jumping and doing pratfalls. I always wanted to be Davey Jones.
3. …the name of your very first best friend?
Shawn. He lived next door. And Cristy, who lived on the other side of me. Cristy had cable TV and the three of us would go over there and watch Dumbo’s Circus and then play doctor. You see, it all started at a very young age.
4. …your favorite breakfast cereal?
Life. And Oh’s!
5. …your favorite thing to do after school?
Come home and play with my puppets. My dad was a children’s pastor and I got the hookup.
Hell has frozen over and I’ve been watching The O.C. I can’t get the theme song out of my head. I have to admit, Adam Brody’s the funniest thing on there… I still despise him through and through for having everything that’s supposed to be mine (and Seth should have lost his virginity to Anna, dammit). That Summer girl is a hottie though, she looks just like the identical character they have on That 70′s Show, the snob. Oh, and does anybody else think that the lead guy looks a little bit bloated? I’ve seen the biceps, I know, but I think there’s some chub going on there too. Whatever, he’s a star and I’m not. I’m only watching b/c I just host serious affection in my heart for Peter Gallagher.
He’s my real father, I just know it. It’s the eyebrows.
