I can’t even tell you how much knowledge of the city my little brain is overflowing with since I started this new Concierge thing. You have no choice but to just absorbe random info — names, showtimes, store hours, weather forecasts, resturant chefs, it’s all really intricate shit. I’m a regular fountain of bullshit information. Sites like Manhattani, Digital City, Switchboard, and random factblogs like Gothamist and DailyCandy are totally my saviors. Oh, and by the way, I’m compiling my own little database of fun spots in the city so if any of you winners in Manhattan know about some coolass hidden places, let me know (don’t bother with the obvious famous-type shit like Spice Market and Crobar, I want the obscure kind of mess)! The biggest thing I’m learning about this job is that most people already know where they’d like to go, what they want is for me to assure them that it’s a good idea. They want me to stand there and look cool and knowledgeable and say that I’d totally tag along on their VERY hip and well-picked plans, so I oblige for the most part but I really want to have more information to offer. I be rolling that BANK, though. Booking cars for people, helicopter tours, Broadway shows, massage and spa appointments, laptop rentals, flower arrangements — I make money off all of that shit. Why hell didn’t I take this job a year ago when they were first after my ass? It just might’ve been a warmer Christmas up in here!

My mom FedEx’d a box of chorizo to me the other day. There is 15lbs of love sitting in my freezer right now. It’s a beautiful thing. Also making me happy is the new Yahoo! Messenger, it tosses all the best features of Yahoo! into one cute little upgrade. Still my favorite search engine.

Skip The Day After Tomorrow, by the way, and go see SAVED! instead. Yes, I know Jake Gyllenhaal and his eyes are alluring (not to mention that body) and I am STILL cursing the fact that I never got to see him and Hayden Christiansen onstage together in This Is Our Youth but at the end of the night he’s gonna go home to Kirsten Dunst and you’re gonna go home to your pillow. I was right, man, I fucking loved it. It was refreshingly honesty, actually, b/c they didn’t go overboard and try to make all Christians out to be these hate-filled lunatics. Every group has frontrunners who fillout stereotypes to a tee, but amongst them are often people manage to still be about the cause, or the message. It was funny when Mandy Moore was singing that praise music and all the teenagers in the crowd were swaying with their arms up, b/c Mandy Moore played a no-holds-barred stereotype…. but it also made me smile b/c there’s something very real about that type of person. Even in all of her hysterics and misguided extremes, she was truly genuine, she really wanted something good to happen and I think that’s where a lot of the lines get blurred for people of faith. Believers. There was a portion of my life where I was one of those kids in the crowd, swaying and singing along and truly feeling something special in my heart and accepting something larger than what I comepletely understood. And that’s what spirituality is about, and that’s what Christianity was, and as seldomly as I revisit it, I know it’s something still inside of me. Anyway, yeah. Go see the movie, if nothing else, for Eva Amurri and Macaulay Culkin. They are too adorable.

I wish I could think of something else to talk about other than myself. Wouldn’t that be cool? Lately I’m sick to death of all my inner workings, it’s partly why this blog gets updated on the random. Priorities and shit. It’s also probably a good thing that my cell doesn’t ring so much these days. Best to be thought of and MISSED (but not called) rather than just not called or thought of.

Or I suppose anything is better than being that bitch. Poor thing. You see what excersize leads to? Then again, that girl took her one day off from work and stretched it into at least 6 to 8 weeks of recovery/bed time. Shit man, let’s go ride a bike.

Though I’m still seriously addicted to the Strawberry Tsunami (w/Energy Boosts) @ Jamba Juice, I just found the Strawberries & Creme Frappacinno @ Starbucks. They also have Vanilla Bean and Java Chip flavors. Life has just gotten a little closer to perfect and also much more complicated.

Bring the summer on.

I spent the better part of my day walking around three of my favorite uptown parks: Riverside, Fort Tryon, and Isham. Fort Tryon park is right across the street, my bedroom window looks out into it. It was a nice day, I wanted to get some outdoor time in before the thunder and fury comes rolling in tomorrow. Did a lot of thinking. Just me and a lot of the random thoughts that have been running through me so much lately.

Six Degrees of Seperation was on this afternoon. I realized a lot of the college campus scenes and regal garden scenes were all shot at the same locations where we did some of The Emporer’s Club stuff. How the hell long ago was that? Random, squared. I love Ouisa’s big monologue at the end, where she’s asking how we’re supposed to make our experiences matter, how we’re supposed to keep them from becoming anecdotes, how we’re supposed to embrace what we have. She was right, it’s frustrating.

I’m all random these days, man. No pattern. Just guessing my way through. Floating along and dying to speak, but never knowing what to say. Just desperate to connect.

Do you guys ever read that magazine SURFACE? I’ve picked it up a few times, it’s not much of a fun read but it’s very slick and glam. Well, I got a call from my buddy Ned @ Pavement Magazine whose buddy shoots for Surface, he’s doing some funky layout for a special summer issue and they thought I’d be perfect for it. How am I gonna be in a legit mainstream design mag?! I have no idea but I’m so doing it. The theme of the spread is like, japanese cartoony action superhero kids with like spiky hair and bodypaint jumping around or something. Keep an eye out for me, winners. Finally, these freakyass anime features of mine might actually bring in some bank!

Hey man, I’m a Concierge now. Hell yeah, Time Out NY is like, my new Bible. I now spend a good 45 minutes every morning skimming NYC-related blogs and gathering popcutlure info, it’s my fucking JOB to be hooked up in the loop now. Can you believe that shit? None of that front desk hotel crap for my nerves anymore, straightup FREEDOM from that mess. But now I’m working some STUPIDASS hours — 9-5pm, what the hell? Where’s my suit and tie? I can’t do this for much longer. Not so much the getting up early as it is the going to bed early that kills me. How the hell am I supposed to go to sleep when there’s like 500 things I’ve TIVO’d that need to be watched? I really don’t watch much TV anymore, actually. But damn, not even in my momma’s house did I follow a bedtime, that was just unheard of in mi casa. We were all insomniacs, it was just cool for you to stay up till you fell asleep. But ugh, I gotta be all bright eyed and helpful and knowledgable and stuff… the truth is, I’m trying to rough it simply b/c the perks are just too delicious. I’m being carted around to all kinds of Concierge Events, free dinners, free passes, free gifts, power guest lists, it’s just silly. We’re like this little C-list culture of people who aren’t quite winners but sorta KNOW the movers and shakers and can get favors from them. Whatever, dude. Am I reaching down in my purse paying my way, my homeboys way, and sometimes my cousins way for any of this? HELL NO. Perks are just too cool. It’s all about the Network and shit, I’m learning.

Movement seems to happening all over these days. People are leaving, returning, crashing, burning, and bailing, people killin’, people dyin’, children hurt and you hear them cryin’. Can you practice what you preach and would you turn the other ch — oh shit, no wait. Those are the lyrics to “Where Is the Love?”. Damn you, Black Eyed Peas. Things still be happening, though. I can’t believe we’re about halfway into the year already.

I had lunch the other day with that west coast politico-blogger from BoifromTroy.com, who is kicking it @ Hudson later this summer for some gay republican thing (I think there’s an important election coming up or something) and who I am hooking him the hell up, cuz he’s sorta my peoples. But yeah, he breezed into the city for a quick weekend trip and we metup. I’m sometimes wary of meeting up with other web folks b/c there’s just something strange about interacting with someone you only know from your Comments section, you never know what they’re actually gonna be like and then worry that maybe you should’ve just stayed home and read their blog instead. Or it might be like when a bunch of actors get together and talk about acting — I can’t even tell you how much I despise the host, guests, and audience of The Actors Studio. But he was actually really nice, bought me lunch and asked to take a picture afterwards which will probably never see the light of day. I’ve metup with lots of cool bloggers a bunch of times before and never even gained mention of it, it’s just how the order falls. Even still, its always cool meeting new people… or even seeing old people, like them.

Little Rob was back in town too, and I think all of Canada came with him. Some long weekend or something. Always a blast to see him. UK Matt was here last month, actually. It’s always good to have my buds around, they seem to pop in at the best times. I think it’s the big free place to crash and my endless supply of PopTarts and iced tea that really brings them in though.

Lots of other stuff going on. This week looks promising. I had a weird weekend. You know how when you hear that Oasis song “Wonderwall” and you sing along but really don’t exactly get what he’s actually singing about? And you feel dumb for singing. That’s how things are. I recently heard a Coldplay cover of that song and I’m actually gonna say this: Chris Martin made a mistake. He also named his daughter Apple, and I think it’s gonna be awhile before I can trust him again.

20,000 seconds since you’ve left and I’m still counting
And 20,000 reasons to get up, get something done
But I’m still waiting
Is someone kind enough to
Pick me up and give me food, assure me that the world is good
But you should be here, you should be here

How colors can change and even the texture of the rain
And what’s that ugly little stain on the bathroom floor
I’d rather not deal with that right now
I’d rather be floating in space somewhere or
Worry about the ozone layer

And it’s almost like a corny movie scene
But I’m out of frame and the lighting’s bad
And the music has no theme
And we’re all so strong when nothing’s wrong
And the world is at our feet
But how small we are when our love is far away
And all you need is you.

- “20,000 Seconds” k’s Choice

2 boxes arrived @ the hotel for me today: one from my G’ma in Texas, fully stocked with yummy homebaked goodies, and the other box stuffed full of yummy sextoy goodies from that naughty girl I upgraded last week. It’s wonderful, I don’t know which package to dive into first! Don’t worry, in all of my excitement I’ll be sure to not mix up the contents of said packages… altho shit man, most all of it is edible — from the chunky walnut fudge and rice crispy squares to the banana-flavored body butter and cinnoman love lotion. It’s like a XXX Candyland. Finger lickin’ fun.

I know, I know. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t deny this post, the glimmering opportunity to finally personalize that Marcy Playground song was just too beautiful to resist.

Can you tell I had a blast in the dirty south? I can’t believe it flew by so fast! I stayed at this eurostyle B&B called The Empress for damn near free and it was only 2 blocks from Bourbon St., so I spent a lot of time just kicking around the French Quarter and Warehouse District. New Orleans is such a fun little town. Trolley tours, eating, clubbing, lounging, a day @ the spa, meeting folks, walking in the rain — I did it all. This was exactly what I wanted to do for my birthday and I’m so glad that I did.

Spriteboy Speaks

These pics are just some of the things I looked at and soaked up during my lazy days. For those of ya’ll hoping for some freakyass Sprite’s Gone Wild-type evidence? there’s not many pics from the nightlife activites, cuz well, you know… I had to put the camera down for SOME of that sordid shit.

Ok so I wasn’t going to post anything till I got back from New Orleans but I had to share this. A few weeks ago I hooked up this hotass couple who were planning their big wedding in New York and had everyone staying @ Hudson (hooked them UP, not hooked up WITH them… altho I totally would). Our hotel is notorious for taking somebody’s dream weekend in Manhattan and just SHITTING all over it, and these folks were really nice and total Schrager regulars, so I knew I had to make sure things went smoothly for them. Ultimately, everything was fantastic and they had a picture perfect stay. Well I walked into work tonight and there was a huge package from Tiffany & Co. sitting in the office, it had a card with my name on it. After reading the card (really sweet letters from both of them) I opened the box up, sorted through the layers upon layers of tissue and lace and glitter and unicorn eyelashes and butterfly wing… and there’s four fucking crystal beer mugs staring at me. They even had the legit sticker on the edge — got me the real shit, man! What the hell?! I shop @ IKEA: the tumblers, cutlery, bowl & plate sets sitting in my cupboard right now are from the Clearance shelf @ Target! How the fuck do I own crystal from Tiffany’s?!

This is insanity. I took a cab home cuz I just couldn’t shake this feeling that I had to protect the mugs. I don’t even know how to act, it’s so much responsibility having them now. I’m worried about like, staining them. Is my Brita filter clean enough? This gift says so much about the sophistication level these people operate on… and I guess it says so much about me that as honored and touched as I am, I’m actually so much more excited to get my naughty freebies from the OTHER guest I hooked up the other day. *cough* Product #842. *cough* You don’t even wanna know.

Welcome back to my world, peeps! New face, new duds, new outlook, new things to talk about. We’re all about the NEWness up in here. I’ve got tons of shit to tell ya’ll about, like what I been up to and where I been going and why the hell my blog died, but why go back and discuss things that don’t apply anymore? Let’s move FORWARD and talk about the things that matter: like the fact that I’m turning a ripe 25 years old tomorrow and my foolass is about to get even more neurotic. Instead of throwing myself a party in the city, I’m kicking things off right proper Big Easy-style (New Orleans!) just to make sure things go down the way they need to — it’s all about relaxing and dancing and po boy sandwiches and busted up old mansions and hurricanes on Bourbon St, not to mention rocking a deep tan sexy enough to make total strangers wanna love me down. I’ll be back with pictures and everything, I can’t fucking wait. Isn’t it thunderstorming in the south right now, tho? I gotta pack an umbrella or something, otherwise it’s all me walking in the downpour along Jackson Sqare, listening to Coldplay on my ipod and sobbing into the rain with Chris Martin (and I like to save sappy shit like that for Manhattan). Big big love, btw, to uberwhizkid Shan who has once again set me up with a kickass layout. How do I look, dudes? Please act like you know that my milkshake continues to bring all the — oh nevermind. More to come, I gotta go do some shit. Sing it with me: Return of the mack…. you know that I’d be back!

I must say, I kind of missed you folks. Thanks for standing by.