1. Just arrived.
2. Peeing in Paris. (That’s Mo in the background)
3. Sending my love to my peeps in New York. When I blow kisses, hearts actually do appear in the ether cuz I’m cool like that.
4. My new winter coat. And that’s a JACK SPADE bag @ my feet, fyi.

I forgot to switch the Cartoon setting off on the camera, so they all came out like this. Also, the weather did weird things to my hair. Pretty country though, huh?

More to come, still sorting through the bunch.

I got caught offgaurd today by some stuff I haven’t thought about or had issues with in awhile. And I hate admitting it but I can’t always be prepared to be strong, so it sorta brought me down in such an unassuming way. It’s weird when old shit comes back, weird when you realize shit is old and that you haven’t gone to those places in awhile. So much else has happened and then suddenly you’re back at a place you used to be, measuring and comparing the happiness, and it feels bad inside just revisiting.

Here’s the thing: I got over stuff already. Heartache and family shit and cancer and bad relationships and weirdness and a lot of weird lonely emotional things. I stopped writing and started going places and moving around, I met stupid people and amazing people and got involved in some hilarious scandals that made me realize things and somewhere along the way I let go of all this shit. Looking back stops now — not b/c it hurts or b/c it’s old or b/c my life makes me happy right now — but b/c it’s DONE for me. I haven’t found everything I’m looking for but I guess I’m trying to make myself understand that the point is NOT that my life is good simply cuz I’ve movied on or cuz I’ve met someone who makes me smile bigger than I have in forever or cuz my job fits me like a glove or even cuz I’m healthy and alive (cuz God knows it could fucking SPIN on me next week); the point is that my life is good cuz it keeps happening. I fought hard to get it back and I want to keep moving ahead, plowing through these new experiences and not lingering behind in the past. Not even in those little pockets of the past we forget to take our hands out of.

So I am gonna get dressed, winners, and I’m gonna meetup with that buddy of mine for dinner in midtown and then we’re gonna see Shockheaded Peter tonight. Then I’m running down to Irving Plaza after that to catch the tail end of Polyphonic Spree with another good buddy, and I’m gonna have a goodass time just to make up for the fucking heaviness of this damn post… also cuz I really hate when bloggers post entries that are entirely too personal and we’re all supposed to cheer them on (so the comments are closed just to kill that need for affirmation). Serious as cancer when I say rythym is a dancer, and also when I say that you will all be damned to hell if I don’t throw my arms up and have a spiritual experience to “Light & Day” right there on the main floor (… I’m pretty sure that song cured my cancer, actually).

I haven’t forgotten about this blog, I swear. It’s just been crazy busy @ work b/c of Fashion Week and Valentine’s Day Weekend (aka Day of Darkness to so many of us). I’ve been back nearly a week and only just now went to pick up Mo from his dogsitter. Ok, I’ll admit I could’ve gotten him sooner, it’s just been nice having an apartment not smelling like puppy for a change. I still can’t believe I was in London a week ago. A mini-recap and pictures from my trip are coming soon, I swear. I’ve got like 300 of them to sift through and can’t bear to opress all of you with a series of shots, but I may just have to roll it out like that.

So guess what, winners. I somehow lucked out and wound up with a Valentine again this year (lightning and disaster often strike twice up in here)! So I have been plotting, scheming, creeping, and fretting over what to do to make it a special day. He’s a fairly new player to the game so I can’t blow the holiday up all Love Boyfriend Forever-style, but he’s a definately a Keeper I’m incredibely smitten with, so it still has to shine and show how happy I am to have him in my life. After a series of failed endeavors, I have finally put together a really great plan that I just WISH I could share with all of you… but alas, there are eyes and ears all over the evil world wide web and I wanna keep this a suprise. No, he doesn’t read this website but his buddies do from time to time, and I can’t be having any spies hot on my trail till after tomorrow. (I’m looking at YOU, Neil!) Trust me, it’s gonna be cool and creative and should most definately lead up to a Happy Ending.

Locally speaking, I wonder if I’m the only one in New York who doesn’t really get that Gates thing. I tried but it’s not happening.

Ohh and since the rates have gone down, I’ve fallen back in love with Netflix. $17.99 a month! That’s insane! There’s NO reason for folks not to look into that shit now, if you don’t have an account with them I don’t want you reading this website. Seriously, I will end friendships over this. I just got the first disc to Wonderfalls, that TV show I never saw but heard so much about. And the Donnie Darko DVD was just re-released with extra footage. Words cannot even begin to describe the joy, ya’ll.

Also, I’d just like to vent about something that has been bothering me for years, actually. I don’t think words can ever fully describe how wholeheartedly I hate Alan Cumming. He has got to be the most offputting celebrity, and I don’t even mean professionally — I personally dislike him as an individual. He’s on the cover of METRO this month and the fucking picture just induces HATRED from my bowels, it rises like chunks of vomit from the pit of my stomach everytime I see a copy sitting on the train. I realize the irony of what I’m about to say but he just… he thinks he’s so CUTE. The man is like, what? in his 30’s and he’s just constantly trying to exude this youthful little british pixie shit. “Look at me! I’m boyish! Look, I’m being elfin and spritely! Aren’t I adorable? Aren’t I so ambiguous? Wheeee!” Bitch, you’re ANNOYING me with that shit. I liked you kind of in Romy & Michelle but that was ok b/c you were playing a nerd who ends up overacheiving and I was very behind that whole thing (another example of me overidentifying and shit), but now I just want you to die.

If it isn’t obvious enough from this post, life in NYC has resumed as usual and God it’s weird to think I was in Europe a week ago. Trafalgar Square one day, Columbus Circle the next. An enlightening experience for shizzy, but have no fear, you’ll be damned if you catch me using proper grammar or saying things like “I was sitting at this little cafe in Montemarte…” or any shit like that. Dudes, I was back @ Target the very next day upon my return — you know how we do.

I’m back in New York tomorrow, bringing the Mona Lisa with me — she’s in my pocket. Big Ben too. They’re both so much smaller than you think. I, however, am not as small as you think. Least not as small as I was.

Greetings from London, dudes. This’ll be a quick post, a nonpost really, only b/c I’m in Europe being cool and indifferent and not allowed to care about you just now. It’s part of the rules or something. Having a fucking blast. Shopping, clubbing, having lots of sex, and seeing amazing things everyday — all the things I never do in New York. London’s a lot like Soho, but more spread out and with sexier clothes and better hair. Someone Special took me to uh, Paris the other day as a secret suprise (hey, some people buy folks a flower, some people take them to Paris. Whatever). Paris, bitch! I don’t even go to Brooklyn! Are you kidding me with this romantic-type shit? Making out in front the Eiffel Tower, the whole nine yards. This is insanity.

Pictures coming soon. I’m seeing things I thought I’d never actually see (or ever want to see) in person. There’s a whole other life happening on the other side of the world, I had no idea.

Gotta run. He’s meeting me here in 15 minutes for a tour of town. God bless him for indulging the American.