Newbie
April 11th, 2005What a weekend I had me up in here.
Shan, the sweetest little twinkie Indianapolis has to offer — and the talentedass person responsible for making this website look all lovely and shit — came up to New York on Friday to crash with me for the weekend. I’d been busy countering my anxiety with housework, mopping floors and painting ugly walls and getting somebody to watch Mo (a pee-happy puppy is too much to inflict on an out-of-towner), and just wondering what the hell I got myself into and exactly HOW BIG a fool I was for letting a(nother) relative stranger come stay with me. But any awkwardness melted away about 2 minutes into meeting up with Shan cuz it was his first time in a big city, first time flying on a plane, first time meeting me — and besides, how was I gonna pretend I wasn’t once all freshfaced and new to this city, too? We ended up having a blast all weekend. Showing a new person around the city is always a fun experience, introducing them to the insane and intricate New York City subway, watching their eyes flicker with amazement at all the things they see, laughing at how hard they struggle to keep up with a frantic pace that the rest of us forgot was frantic. I took him all over the place and he caught on real quick.
It was a very “New York Weekend”, the kind where ya keep running into cool ppl you know but never see (in addition to a smorgasbord of pop bloggers, sitcom washouts, and reality tv ho’s & homo’s that you don’t know but always see) and ya keep taking the long way around to wherever you’re going cuz you’re not sick of marvelling at how beautiful the weather is. There was lots of shopping and eating, network parties and Meatpacking lounges, brunches and Broadway, and the best part is most everything was free cuz well, Concierge living has its perks. (Shit, I need a friend like me). Shan slipped right into the groove. By the end of his trip, he was jaywalking, wandering Soho alone, sleeping with my friends, mastering those subways, turning up his nose @ Bridge&Tunnel trash, and kicking babystrollers outta his way just like I taught him. He even ditched my ass during his final hour in town so he could shop @ Macy’s: and the student surpassed the teacher. Beautiful.
JUST ADDED: Shan’s photo recap. I especially love the shot of my ass trekking down steps and sporting one of my many Jack Spade bags. Shan snuck this in, but it seems to be a pattern with me taking in pretty sights.
It was great meeting you, Shan. You weren’t nearly as big a punk I thought you’d be. 
Come back and play this summer. My buds all thought you were really fun — one in particular, ahem — and so did I, tho I might have to kill you for posting that JACKED UP picture of us on the subway @ 2am, with me looking bloated and pale after eating junk all day and sweating all night @ Level V. (Don’t be decieved, ya’ll, I’m nowhere near Chubberville… Shan just weighs like, 3lbs. It’s not his fault tho, Anorexia is a trend just barely hitting the midwest.)
Forsaking Frenchie
April 7th, 2005So I’ve been in militant protest against American Idol ever since those assholes booted Frenchie Davis from the competition in the 2nd season. All she did was pose for a naughty website once, man. Luckilly, b/c of the press and her talent, that bitch really blew up anyway and went on to become a Broadway star, so everthing worked out ok. And other than seeing the AOL replay of Fantasia winning last year, I haven’t kept up @ all with the show. (Did Ruben die? Who the hell is this Mario kid?) Anyway somebody was telling me recently about this new cocky boy in the competition named Anthony Federov, how he’s really good and supposedly looks like Harry Potter and my exboyfriend (if they’d had a child). After running out of better things to do, I sat down and looked him up on Yahoo! (cuz Google is for sheep!) tonight to finally see what everyone’s talking about.
He’s adorable! All sqeaky and shiny and ripe for the taking. I just spent the last hour pouring over every article, fansite, video clip, and blog entry about him and I can totally jump on this bandwagon. He actually reminds me of a younger Anthony Rapp with those black glasses, and yeah, looks something like Randy too. I haven’t been watching the show, so somebody clue me in. How far along in the competition is he? Is he doing good, does Simon like him? More importantly, does he have a sordid amateur gay porn scandal buried somewhere in his past, or has he taken a tip from Miss Davis and perhaps posed for a naughty website? and if so which one? Help me out here, internet folks, I’m gonna need more to work with if I plan on having sex with him.
Forgive me, Frenchie. You’ll live on in my heart, but I see a hottie tonight that should be having my baby, baby.
Lady Freaknasty
April 1st, 2005
photo via z.klein
All I really wanna do tonight while the rain creeps up on me is turn down the lights, turn up some R. Kelly, turn over a bottle of Courvoisier, and turn it out with this hoochie all night long. Can you blame me? Look at that tousled fiery mane, that alluring gaze behind those sexy schoolgirl specs, that gleeful smile — you can’t FAKE that kind of sexiness. Lay a hurtin’ on me, witchy mountain woman.
She’s naked under that coat, you know. Everybody SCREAM.