Avenue Cutie
August 15th, 2006 / No comments
Dissappointed.
I’ll be honest. I didn’t love it. I’ve been head over heels for Kiki & Herb before, but not tonight. Despite opening with “Crazy” by Gnarles Barkley (which was funny), they seemed a little out of synch with each other for the whole 1st act and a lot of the material was direct dialouge from their Carnegie Hall show. Kiki just started going for easy jokes with the audience after awhile, really camping up the drunkplay and slurred babble. The second act started off better but then they got REALLY political and I got REALLY bored but they did “Total Eclipse of the Heart” as an encore, which was worth the $70 for my ticket. If you haven’t seen or heard Kiki do that song, find it online and take it in. Hilarious.
Most impotrantly, Barrett Foa, the cutie from Avenue Q (and my future boytoy), was there with his reportedly huge bulge. I wasn’t starstruck in the least (I’ve seen Ave Q three times) but more dumbstruck by just how fucking cute he is, seeing him was the highlight of my night @ the theater. He’s doing The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee now, playing Leif Coneybear, everyone’s favorite character — everyone one but me that is, cuz I’ve got deep love for Marcy Park and her six language-speaking ass. Still, I’d actually pay to see the show a 6th time just to be able to sit and stare at him w/o getting taken out by security.
Look at this smile. Can you blame me?
He mentions seeing Kiki & Herb in his blog but doesn’t mention anything about me… yeah, it’s cool. Whatever. He’ll realize we’re meant to be sooner or later, my love will not be denied.
This is MY House, B
August 14th, 2006 / 2 comments »I was @ Target this afternoon, I’m there a lot, slacking off with my boyfriend and enjoying a $2 Hot Dog + Popcorn + medium coke combo meal when I caught sight of an all-too familiar figure I’ll call Mr. B. A friend of a my friends but NOT a friend of my own, Mr. B and I worked together (but not closely) once upon a time, and he pretty much annoys me by simply existing. My stomach clinched as soon as I saw him. All of our mutual friends just love him to death, talking about how sweet and adorable he is, how cute, how funny, how blah blah blah. I’ve given him a shot, attempted socializing with him @ group things, I even helped him get a job. My point is that I’ve straightup tried getting to know him to see what all the fuss is about and I’ve concluded that it’s all hype; he’s not that interesting. But as my friends enthusiasm for him has grown more and more insistant, my indifference has turned ugly into full-on contempt.
He was wandering the cereal aisle and as far as I’m concerned he might as well have been kicking puppies, having the nerve to step foot into MY territory. BITCH. Everybody in our social circle knows — EVERYBODY KNOWS — that Target is my thing, it’s a regular joke how much time and money I spend there. It’s practically my motherfucking home. If any of my friends plan to go, who do you think they call? And his bitchass dares to just show up unannounced? I’m suprised he didn’t bring everyone we know along with him, trying to organize a group outing or someshit. He saw me and deigned to be all, “Oh hey” like it’s no big deal that we’re seeing one another (he does that everytime I’m around). Like he comes here all the time. Like it’s nothing remotely noteworthy to have run into me at MY spot. I think I spit out a hello and “this is my boyfriend” (all while beaming my strongest Evil Eye) before vibing him out of the cereal aisle and effectively out of the store.
It’s catty. It’s so catty. Whatever. I’m sure he finds me just as annoying and probably thinks I’m just as overhyped, and that’s all fine and fitting. But when you come up to my house, fucking act like you know where you’re at.
Hail to the Gaurdians
August 12th, 2006 / No commentsOn the way back to the Apple store today (my iPod was D.O.A.) I saw Rachel True from The Craft crossing the street and I couldn’t help myself. “HAIL TO THE GAURDIANS OF THE WATCHTOWERS OF THE NORTH!” I screamed, chanelling the midnight seance beach scene from the movie. “I INVOKE THEE!” Rachel didn’t think it was funny, she ran across the street crying. Maybe they were happy tears, happy she’d been noticed. Last thing I saw that bitch doing was having lunch with Caroline Rhea and Kathy Griffin on “D-List”. Still, at least I took the time.
Bought some funky Warhol-looking silkscreen printed T-shirts off a table on Prince St, the girl was so happy I bought 5 of them she gave me one for free. Metup with P @ Lincoln Center to catch the 6:15 show of Little Miss Sunshine, which I really liked and kind of reminded me of Clockwatchers, in that funny but sad, still way. Wish there had been more Toni Collette but I love how she can just blend into the ensemble w/o showing off in her scenes. The little girl was cute, I like that they picked one who looked like a normal kid. Greg Kinnear was perfect. When the silent boy finally loses his shit I actually cried, I was so upset for him.
And no. Reenacting dialouge and scenes from The Craft will never get old.
Also, how bad do I wanna see The Covenant next month? It’s like an all-male version of The Craft, even the poster is identical. Complete with the sensitive, earthy good teen witch and the wild and vicious bad teen witch. It’s the shit bad movies and inside jokes are made of, I love it.
30
August 11th, 2006 / 2 comments »I got a 30GB iPod today. Just because. I deserve one, dammit.
I’m naming him Jack Spade.Although my shuffle and nano continue to serve me well and make me feel high-tech for having so much music packed into such tiny units, they can no longer sustain my need for multiple options at any given time, and both my first and second ipods are no longer socially acceptable to be seen using. In addition to my 20GB library, I also have about 25 different podcasts I subscribe to, and I plan to load up lots and lots of videos (i.e. porn) to amuse me on the subway. So a new 30GB iPod, you see, was really the only option.
Do you think it’s a little worrisome that this is my 5th iPod in just 3yrs? Is the sad part that the other 4 still work and I’m just over them? Could it be that my iPod addiction is beginning to compete with my Jack Spade addiction? Whatever, life is short and tips this month are good.
It was a beautiful day in Manhattan, nice wand sunny with lots of breezes. After buying my new iPod, I wandered through Soho and stopped in to see Mishy (back from Switzerland) at The Mercer, where she’s interning right now. She’s so tall and gorgeous, I actually might tag along with her this Sunday on a day trip upstate. She just inherited a co-op near Bloomingdale’s; if I didn’t love her I’d have to loathe her.
Metup with P in Washington Square Park, some guys on guitars were performing an acoustic emo version of “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. We had a really greasy lunch @ Johnny Rockets, where the waiters did a disco routine to Donna Summer’s “Last Dance”.. at 4 in the afternoon. It was kind of funny and kind of sad.
Not Ready To Make Nice
August 11th, 2006 / No commentsI was never a huge fan of Dixie Chicks, and I barely recall having an opinion about during the backlash they got for their anti-Bush remarks a few years ago, but this single “Not Ready To Make Nice” from their new album is fucking great. The song itself is defiant and honest, I love that they used it as the first single. The video is just gorgeous to look at and, like the lyrics, is full of between-the-lines messages. I love the whole look of the girls in those old pilgrim-like dresses, like a spin on The Crucible or Salem “witches” in those days when women who spoke out of turn were looked at as hysterical and evil, with them fighting against restraints and smearing them with ink. The violins and the vocals both soar when they talk about the death threats they recieved and it’s just really cool. I love the song.
Why am I blogging about a Dixie Chicks song/video? Cuz they got snubbed at the height of their fame — right on the heels of that awesome “Landslide” cover — for speaking their own minds. Radios stopped playing their music and the media went nuts over it. It was bullshit and this song probably won’t get much attention or accolades b/c of it. Natalie, the lead singer who really bore the brunt of the backlash even though they ALL felt the same way, stares straight into the camera at the end of the video and her expression is just perfect. It’s like she’s looking directly at every hatemail-writing lunatic who threatened her life, every DJ who banned their music from radio, every politician who pinned them as anti-American, even directly at Bush himself and saying, “What’s gone down is not cool and I’m not gonna shut up or pretend to be past all of it.”
Of course all of this could just be me projecting my own ex-boyfriend issues into the situation. But whatever.
Dragging Onward
August 7th, 2006 / 1 comment »P and I went to dinner tonight with Nick & Cal, my favorite couple in the world (and almost the cutest, if P and I were to get hit by a truck tomorrow). Took them to the Lower East Side for Movie Monday @ Suba, where they always show a Spanish film and offer a $35 pre-fixe that includes this amazing selection of tapas. I had hanger steak almost burnt (it’s a Texan thang), Olive Oil cake with vanilla cream, and muy mojitos. They showed Talk To Her, which was fantastic and for some reason left me feeling really optomistic. Suba COMP’d us, which I wasn’t expecting but sort of anticipated. Just a perk of being a Concierge — don’t hate, me and mine roll out nice on occasion cuz the flipside is that I deal with unreasonable Eurotrash tourists @ 7am while most people are still drooling on their pillows.
We walked up Ludlow to Houston (the lower east side has pockets of sections that still look very RENT and ungentrified) and over to Urge for a few rounds of Money Wheel, which I haven’t played in forever. Wasn’t as much fun as I remembered it to be. P knew the host, Gusty Winds, and blurted out that we met online and of course all minds went straight to the gutter and assumed it was thru Manhunt. Perish the thought, true as it may seem. Deny deny deny, I ain’t no a guttergay… not so much. Praise Jesus.
And I’m learning that all not drag queens are created equal. Gusty Winds, gawdy and bawdy as she is, can’t hold a candle to Cashetta (who coined the now classic in my mind phrase: “I’m the one fucking this here ho, you bitches just stand there and hold the legs.”). And the two of them combined can’t even compare to my fabulous oldschool bitch Peppermint Gummybear. I totally have her in my cell, she’s my real life friend, yet when I ran into her @ the Motherfucker Party over 4th of July I felt like I was talking to a celebrity. Shit is bananas. P and I are going to see Kiki & Herb: Alive on Broadway next week. CANNOT WAIT.
Said goodbye to the boys @ 2nd ave and headed back uptown around midnight. I fell asleep in the cab.
Reichen’s Butt Boy
August 4th, 2006
I’ve waited out the hype, given it some thought, and I just have a few things to say. But to keep from getting my server jammed with hate from vengeful LanceLovers (I learned how CRAZY angry fans can get after those Ryan Seacrest/ Olsen Twins entry I did way back when), I’m shutting off comments. There’s only enough room for one Hater up in this bitch and it’s gonna be me.
“The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that [the rumors] were really starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it’s on my terms.”
What rumors? Hasn’t he been outta the spotlight for like 4yrs? The last time I even heard his name was when he was trying to get his glittery butt shot into space. Most ppl always thought Lance was the gay one (my friend Kasey used to take his picture to the salon and ask for her eyebrows to get plucked just like his) and yeah, it was an inside joke forever that he was a big homo probably in love with JC — the flamer in Altar Boyz is an outight parody of Lance —- but has he ever actually been tabloid-worthy? I don’t recall any big Tom Cruise-like attacks on his sexuality, he’s just never seemed that interesting enough on his own for us to care. So this story about how he was just “tired of the rumors” is just bullshit.
For the courage it takes when a homo decides to stop lying and just own his faggotry? it’s sorta lame how he’s spinning this whole thing. Any rumors Princess Frostylocks been suffering from were recent ones, like in the last few months. The gay blogosphere was buzzing (still only half-interestedly) about how he was spotted all over L.A. recently with none other Reichen Lehmkuhl. They even went to Ptown for 4th of July and were seen dancing together, having dinners, makin gout, getting into little hissyfits, and even playing with other boys all weekend. I get the feeling that Lance realized his little trip to Ptown was documented a little too accurately in cell-phone pics and YouTube clips all over the web — most seen and posted about on PerezHilton.com. Perez pretty much outed Miss Bass on the web singlehandedly and put all the proof out there. Lance hardly “came out”, seems more like his gayass got OUTED.
“I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys’ careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything.”
Lance, it’s okay that you were scared. And I get that you stayed closeted and couldn’t talk about being gay b/c you didn’t want to jeopardize the success of the band, or the careers of your friends — I see the honor in that, although I think you were a little relieved that you didn’t have to own up — but um, why couldn’t have acted on it? Flying your “buddy” from home out to meet you on tour and fucking him in your hotel room was easily an option, so don’t stretch your abstainance into an act of loyalty to your bandmates. Being noble and being too ashamed to act on your feelings are two different things.
Also, what’s this about him not wanting to be a posterchild for gayness? Bitch, you went on the cover of People magazine and said I LIKE BUTTSEX. His little qoute about how, when ppl ask if he’s gay he says “No, I’m also gay. It’s not the only thing about me” just seems so cutesy and stupid. Lance didn’t have ANYTHING else to talk about in that interview, no movie he’s promoting, no new album he’s working on, no bullshit T-shirt line he’s putting together with another NSYNC leftover, no upcoming endorsement deals for ProActiv, no more trips to the Moon planned, NOTHING at all. He just talked about how he’s gay and has a boyfriend — it’s all he had to say, yet wants to make sure we all know he’s much more layered than that, like those gays who like to describe himself as “straight-acting”, which is just so obnoxious to do. Those gays who find it really really important that they seem boring and butch and not in any way fabulous or typically gay, it’s just offensive on a level that maybe only other gay men can get. I rarely give a shit about it enough to care, but seeing Lance’s sheepish little “Yeah, I’m Gay But It’s SO Not a Big Deal (even though I was hiding it up until last week)” expression staring back at me on every other street corner newsstand in New York just pisses me off.
There. I just had to say it.
Now more importantly…
How the FUCK did he land Reichen?!
Heat Craze
August 2nd, 2006 / 2 comments »The heatwave in Manhattan is staggering at the moment, it’s the kind of desert heat that makes you want to lay out in the street and just let the vultures bring you to Jesus. Yesterday and today were the hottest days all year, I think I heard. My electric bill came this weekend and it was over $100. The price I pay for running TWO air conditioners in my place. Totally worth it. There’s nothing like coming home, peeling off your clothes, taking a COLD shower, and laying out butt nekked with a tumbler of iced tea while the air conditioner just blasts a cool haze.
I filmed another promo thing for work today. It was a dumb corporate shoot, totally infomercial style, but it was kind of fun being in front of a camera again. Being lit and miked. And I’ll just admit that my inner wannabe popstar still knows how to work it, they LOVED me and it felt good to… I dunno, just feel sparkly in front of a camera again. Forgot how much I loved that. The director actually offered to let me watch some of the playback in the monitor — that’s when I saw how fucking FAT I looked on camera and my little boost came down real quick-like. Just like that. See how life balances?
A traffic light on Park @ 19th Street was screwy today, all four sides lit up red and traffic got dangerous for awhile. I called 311 and reported it. It was my good deed for the day. Later I stole a seat out from under an old lady on the subway, just to balance out the scales back out. Shit man, it’s hot, I’m cranky, and that bitch was too damn slow. Just watch, by mid-August this heat will have fried my brain and made a full-on crazy person. It could be worse, I could be Mel Gibson hating on the Jews again. Mel is fucked, ya’ll.