Settling in after a mellow and wonderful birthday.

the vlog: intro 

What the hell? First the blog then a podcast, now a vlog? How far can my cries for attention reach? Roll of thunder, hear my cry. It’s my birthday tomorrow and I will no longer able joke that I’m in my “early late 20’s”, I need all the reinforcements I can get. Just indulge me, ok?

And yes, I forgave YouTube. But I haven’t forgotten. You can check out my vlogs there (not here) when you’re in the mood for a little big overload.

Life settles down with Mom, Dad, and my little yorkie gone (*sniff*). It’s Mothers Day and in 2 days this little mama’s boy turns 28.

The folks left today. The week with them here went by a lot faster than I expected, and I don’t think I could have imagined a better trip. No fights, no bickering, no headaches — not that they’re usually difficult or anything, but you know, a week is a long time to have mom & dad up in your shit. They stayed at my place for most of their stay and were just perfect guests, it was actually kinda nice. We went to a lot of brunches and did a lot of walking. Texans are generally pretty out of shape people, what with all the deep fried soul food, but those two kept up pretty damn good. They actually caught the hang of the subways pretty quickly and by the end of their trip they were ditching me cuz there was more stuff they wanted to do; I barely saw them their last night here!

The best part of the trip, for me, was setting them up with a suite at my hotel for the last few nights of their trip — sort of my belated anniversary gift to them. My parents try to get away a lot but keep life pretty simple, so my hotel was truly and out of this world experience for them. I decked out their room with rose petals on the bed in big hearts and filled them up with hershey’s kisses, petals in the bathroom, just everywhere, and I had their wedding song playing on the stereo when they came in. When I made it up to their room a few hours after they’d checked in they were both just sitting on the floor cuz they didn’t want to mess up the bed. I nearly threw up, it was so cute.

They’re gone now and I’m a little embarassed to say that I miss them A LOT. Didn’t realize how much I appreciate their company till they were here. Oh, also gone…

He chewed. He peed. He conquered.

My little Mo is gone. His time with me is over and now he’s in a better place. Texas with my parents. They’ve got other puppies and a backyard, he’ll love it there. Finally I can begin to reclaim my apartment. Still, I’ll miss him to death, especially when I’m longing for puddles of pee to scrub out of my hardwood floors. Pine Sol will never hold the same magic for me, I think.

The best part of taking my parents to see Altar Boyz tonight was how the tongue-in-cheek humor was completely lost on them. You see, in the sanitized, G-rated world of youth group rallys, Michael W Smith, and 7th Heaven reruns, there are actual Christian pop boybands out there just like the Altar Boyz. So aside from the overt HoYay jokes, which first left them puzzled and then stone-faced once they got the jokes, I think they thought we were at an actual Christian concert. Anytime the boys sang a line about praising the Lord or how funky-fresh it is to be down with Christ, my folks were like, “Yeah!”

I found myself doing this weird thing during the show, this nervous-reflex thing I used to do all the time when I was a kid. Anytime we’d be home watching a movie that I knew was gonna have something my parents would be offended by (i.e. something I was supposed to be offended by), I’d wait right up until the cussword or the sex scene and then try distracting them with a sudden cough attack or by asking random question like, “Have you seen my backpack?”. Or I’d just get up and go to the restroom till the scene was over, whatever I could do to ease the tension. I caught myself starting to do this again tonight like a fucking child — me, one week shy of 28yrs old — and then put an end to it real quick, cuz it’s oldschool whack and I’m not going to sugarcoat my life or the world around me for them. We’re not even the kind of family afraid to talk about things; I think we actually defy most of those barriers… but we do have our awkward spots. Eventually they’re going to have to get beyond all the things they don’t like in the world (I’m talking about my life too) and learn to just accept them instead of spiritually phasing them out. I feel like they’re getting better at it.

This trip is an imoprtant one for reasons just like this. My being gay is still new and confusing to them, especially since I dated girls for so long and didn’t take my first steps swishy and feirce. In some ways, they accept it but I suspect they like to think my boyfriends have been isolated “experiences” that I’m just using to learn about myself. I actually used to think this, too, a long time ago.

I know this sounds weird but I really wish I had a boyfriend for them to meet right now — someone for them to see me happy with, on the phone with, kissing goodbye. This is something they’ve never actually seen and ironically, something I always thought I didn’t need them to. I decided very early on that I wasn’t gonna do the cliched Acceptance Struggle with them, that it was gonna be their own journey to take. I’ve always jchosen the “They know the truth, now the rest is my business” highroad but now I find myself at something of a crossroads, suddenly recognizing that it is important to me that they SEE it. Alas, my ass is single and alone and a little fragile right now… I wish this wasn’t the version of Gay Son that they were taking in. So I reference the Exes a lot. “Me and Randy used to go here all the time…” “Pedro bought this for me…” “Jeff used to live in that building…” I can’t tell yet if it does anything to normalize or alter the reality for them but I’m gonna keep doing it. Like, my new issue of Out came in the mail today. I left it in the mailbox earlier when we left the house cuz I didn’t want to rile anyone up. That’s bullshit. I just went downstairs and grabbed it, and it’s sitting on my kitchen table now. Little steps, y’all.

My private crusade aside, this has been a perfect trip to far. They are loving every second of the city, seeing the places I talk about and running into my friends. My mom won’t stop cleaning my apartment. They check into the W later this week for a few days, can’t wait to pamper them. Oh, they’re taking Mo back to Texas with them. I’m gonna miss him so fucking much but ahhh, I’m gonna love reclaiming my apartment. A man can only clean up after a pee-happy puppy so many times before a little peice of him starts to die.

Those to be held responsible for this here trainwreck landed in New York today for their long awaited visit. I’m so happy they’re here! They haven’t been to the city to see me (together) in 7yrs and so it’s gonna be a really great time together this week — yes an entire week of mom & dad. Help me, Jesus.

Actually it’s been great. They got in around noon and I had a limo pick them up at the airport (work perks, thanks) and bring them to my place, where my apartment and I were fresh scrubbed and sparkling. We bummed around for a bit and then set out to take advantage of the GORGEOUS day. Subwayed down to the UWS and had lunch @ New Wave Cafe (I love that my parents consider a grilled burger @ a diner to be “a great New York meal”), strolled through Strawberry Fields, and then caught a late afternoon showing of Spiderman 3. How much do I love, by the way, that Tobey Maquire (World’s Ugliest Cryer) just doesn’t even work out for this role anymore? He’s so over it — him and Kirsten Dunst both. If it weren’t for that adorable Topher Grace I might have fallen asleep. I wasn’t at all suprised that my folks had this entire beautiful city open to explore in perfect weather yet opted for a movie instead; this is just the kind of stuff my they love to do, and I am very much from the same school of Simple Pleasures. We walked downtown for a bit cuz it was a gorgeous “New York” evening and I got to take them to finally see HUDSON, which they were absolutely amazed by and so was I honestly. I forgot what a truly gorgeous property that place is, can’t believe I spent 3yrs working there basically as interactive modern furniture. Had dinner @ VYNL (Mom loved the Cher bathroom) and subwayed home. They crashed hard when we got here, such little troopers.

Yup, that’s them. My dad wears nothing but Beatles tee shirts and my mom owns a hat to color-match every pair leggings she owns, which she buys from the WalMart junior miss department. She collects miniature lighthouse knick-knacks and has a shrine to Selena. He loves heavy metal music and watches Gilmore Girls religiously. They’re both obsessed with their cell phones and they think their son is cool. They’re so cute. Can you believe they’re 50? My DNA stunted me on height but I’ll look young forever, dammit.

Tomorrow I’m taking them to brunch @ NORMA’S and then to check out that church I like in Brooklyn (Little Big Jesus Lovers, us). May head to Chinatown after that cuz Dad’s set on bargaining with the Canal Street bootleggers and Mom’s life will not be complete until she’s walking among multitudes of folks with whom she can converse at eye level.

I’m so happy they’re here.

Cinco de Mayo up in here and Little Big Mom & Dad are on the way! Ole!

I’m sick. :(

I know we’re on different journeys, but is it too much to hope maybe he’s singing about me?