I got myself some flowers today. After a dissappointing IKEA trip (rented a car and everything) earlier this week, I swallowed my pride (yes, I do have some) and wandered into Urban Outfitters on the way home. Turns out, they were having this huge sale on their housewares and I got these interesting prints on canvas for like, $20 each. I think they’re kind of cute, and my apartment could use a little bit of bloom in the rooms. I love the green one.

I got some other flowers today. Belated birthday ones from Jeff.

Aside from one email on New Years, Jeff and I haven’t talked since we broke up last summer. We’ve now been apart longer than we were together, and that’s always a funny thing to realize when you’re looking back on your time with somebody. I called him to say thanks. Email would have been easier, an easier way to skip the awkwardness of speaking with somebody who’s seen you nekked and heard you say “I love you” and last made you cry, but as Carrie Bradshaw would emote, that wouldn’t quite honor the whole history of the relationship. Part of me hoped for voicemail but I was happy when he answered, our chat was short and sweet and left me smiling softly. My mind hardly drifts back to those places anymore, to where he was such a part of my world, but when it does I find myself wishing good things and better places for us both. And I feel lucky to be breathing and smiling again b/c of someone new.

Love,
Blossom

Ugh, right? Shit man I’m an oldass 27yr old now and this is just what happens — waxing poetic — when you’re this close to 30. Wow, just felt a chill run up my spine typing that. Yknow how everyone usually asks how you’re birthday went, and you say good? then they ask how old you are and you say 27…? They usually/are supposed to say, “Oh god you’re such a baby, talk to me when you’re pushing 40.” Yeah, nobody says that to me. Every goddamn person I’ve talked to about turning 27 ruins my day and says, “Whoa, 30’s right around the corner!” It’s like they all got together while I was sleeping and decided to fuck with my peace. Dicks.

At least I’ll have plenty of pretty flowers around to make my descent into the void smell a little sweeter.