Country Grammar Friday, February 14, 2003

As much as I like Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child (she's the non-Beyonce one), would somebody please explain the blatant grammatical offense in the lyrics to her new song "Stole"?  

Sample lyric:
She coulda been a movie star
Never got the chance to go that far
Her life was stole
Now we'll never know

Stole.  Not stolen.  It's stole.  Not in a noun-sense of the word, like a cloak or shawl, or a garment that you'd wrap around yourself.  Stole... as a verb.  Like STOLEN... but without a letter.    Are we just making up words now?  Where am I --- the Bronx?   Who the hell talks like that?  I want names. 

"Hey Kelly, what happened to your VCR?" 
"Aw, it got stole." 
"For real? That sucks, I hate when my place gets broken into and my stuff is stole." 
"Yeah, I know..."

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love the chorus and I think the video is really cool too.  Plus, Kelly is the shit, man!  She's like, "Fuck Destiny's Child!  I'm gonna go out and do a kickass song/video with Nelly, and then I'm gonna do my own shit and nobody's even gonna look @ Beyonce anymore!"  Rock on, dude.  She's cute and she's got a really pretty voice... but come on.  "Stole"?  Who told her that was ok?  I just love it how her record label, backing studio, and entire team of producers just let her go on saying "stole" as if it were a valid synonym for the past tense of robbery.  Somebody justify this shit for me, please.  The english language is comprised of basic structure and fundamentals.  There are certain laws of grammar that you kind of have to fucking follow if you wanna make any sense and not sound like a damn jackass from the backwood swamps of Louisiana. 

I'm sorry, but using "stole" as a past participle is just plain unacceptable.  It's a sign of the apocalpyse.  Fucking damnation, that's what it is.

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