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      MISSING!
Tuesday, October 7, 2003 [ banter 4 ]

I was on my way out of my apartment the other day, ran through the kitchen to grab a snack for the train ride downtown, and that's when I saw it.... or didn't see it, for that matter. Bonzai 2.0 had suddenly dissappeared from his uber-trendy fishtank and his betta ass was nowhere to be found. It's been 3 days since his dissappearance/abduction and I still have nothing to go on.

What the hell could've happened?! I'd just fed him the day before, it's not like he WENT anywhere. Fish don't just suicidally LEAP from their fishbowls, do they? And if they did, they'd probably make some little wet SMACK noise when they splashed out of the water and against the kitchen counter, right? I didn't hear ANYTHING! I wonder... could it have been a renegade mouse, water-resistant and hungry for sushi? Household rodent mice can't swim, right?

I've checked every nook, every cranny, and every inch of linoleum in that kitchen --- I've even pressed my face to the wooden floors in my dining area and inspected the cracks for tiny little fishbones. Nothing. All efforts have returned to me in vain.

MISSING:

Have you seen me?
Name:Bonzai 2.0
Description:Japanese Fighting Fish. Wee. Colbat blue.
Famous For:Replacing the original Bonzai.
Date of Birth:Purchased 9.22.03
Date of Disappearance:10.04.03 (approx)
Last seen:Swimming in circles and having a martini.
If you, or anyone you know, has any information about the whereabouts of Bonzai 2.0., please let Spriteboy know ASAP.

He's gone. Whyyyyyyyy??!

I know what you're all thinking and I'm telling you right now, it wasn't me! I didn't even TOUCH his water this time, I promise! I guess I'm just not fit to own a pet. Dammit. There goes my plans to get a puppy... possibly.

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