Beacon
May 18th, 2009 / 9 comments »I went for a run today along the Hudson down Washington Heights. Started where the Cloisters lets out onto the West Side Highway and ran down towards the GWB. At 181st there’s a path than turns down towards the water and lets you run through the park along the riverbank. I made it to 165th and came right back around. Look what I found under the GWB:
It’s fittingly called the Little Red Lighthouse. Apparently an old tribe placed a red pole in the Hudson riverbank to signal to passing ships that the waters were about to shift. Later two lamps were attached to the pole, and eventually the red lighthouse was installed. It doesn’t operate anymore but I hear they open it for tours and stuff. I love that it’s here, uptown where I am. :)
The sun started to set on my way back home, pale orange and violet clouds. It was a good run except for the part where Mariah Carey’s “Sweet Fantasy” started blasting through my shuffle. OK I kept running along to it tho. Sometimes a song like that just gives you a little boost — might not be one of those tunes you proudly own but damn if it don’t love hearing it now and then. It’s one of those songs that comes on when you’re sitting on the A train heading downtown on your way to meet up with friends or your boyfriend, and you know they’re gonna be annoyed with you cuz you’ll be 20min late again since your ass changed shirts 6 times, but you look cute now and this damn song just came on in your headphones and you’re smiling cuz you know it’s probably gonna be a fun night. Wow, run-on sentance, hi. But you know what I mean.
I went to Target tonight and got a George Foreman grill. Nick and I threw my old one out in a feng shui attack when we were repainting the kitchen last year. Grilled chicken is about to enter my life in a real way. I’ve been gathering all kinds of intel from folks who know and apparently it’s just a necessity if you want to fit into size 30waist pants again.
UPDATE: when I run, everything feels starts to clear up in my head. I start adopting a different spin on my situation and then I think how I’m seeing it is totally not the way I should be seeing it. And then night comes, and I’m in bed like I am right now… and I only know how lonelysad I feel.
9 Responses to “Beacon”
oh honey that last paragraph broke my heart. it’s so hard. it’s almost worse when you leave everything up in the air because you have to do the necessary little things (learning to sleep alone again, cooking for one if you cook, getting the pets used to not seeing them regularly, etc) to start the healing process but at the same time you don’t want to close the door and move on because you still have hope and love and yuckiness. holy run-on sentence batman! anyway hang in there. and update more ;)
Its very odd to feel close to someone that you only know through a blog. But I have been reading/watching for years so can’t lie and say that it doesn’t hurt my heart that you are sad. I don’t know whats going on and you have every right to NEVER tell us (and by us I mean your readers/viewers who don’t actually know you). But I hope that you are finding comfort wherever you can. Times like this can really, REALLY suck. I can relate because I am going through a lonely/hopeless/sad time too (which is probably what prompted me to write this comment) and I can’t wait for it to be over. For what its worth, know that someone from the other side of the country is sending you some good vibes!! I hope all works out in way that leads to happiness for you (and Nick). Take care and keep smiling!! :)
<3
Flittering freely across heart and mind, I think of you.
Post something. A note, a tweet, something. You have a fundamental, extroverted creativity that I enjoy, and, though I understand your reasons and emotions surrounding your withdrawal, it’s good exercise to write something. (Granted, you may very well be keeping a personal journal or maybe have found another outlet for your expression, which would be cool. But I’m a fan of your work – meaning the documents you produce which reflect your life, not that your life is some compartmetalized, packageable, marketable work – and want to encourage you to keep up the good work. When you’re ready to come back, people will be waiting for you, cheering you on.
I just thought I’d offer you more encouragement.
compartmentalized (I know how to spell, really. I get paid to do it.)
Ohhhhhhhhh gawddd…you’re soooo freakin cute! I’m gonna start the Master Cleanse…any additional advice for someone who has never done this thing before???
I hope the best for you. No platitudes; just some love from a Chris ‘cross the country.
Hey Chris..I was reading my very old blog and was reminded that I used to read you and so with the magic of Google, found you again. I don’t know if you remember Joopsie/Joopy at siquekitten.org a time back but that’s me.
where are you? There’s never been a gap this long….