Oddly enough, this is exactly how I feel about porn.

I actually auditioned for this ad back in the day. Didn’t get the job, they said I didn’t meet the height requirement or have enough cool points. I realize now that my entire life has been an unwatched audition to be one of these cool pretty kids with their perfect poses, leather jackets, and I’m-fucking-bored expressions. Yeah, still waiting to book that job.

Zombies, I swear. They’re SINGING to America yet are paralyzed from the hair down. I love it.