P and I got up and did brunch right on the Upper West, where the best diners live, and caught the 4:15pm of The Departed @ Lowes 68. It was really long but I hardly noticed. You know how everyone feels like Tom Cruise is scary and evil now? And how when we all look at that Oprah clip it makes us feel scared? That’s how I feel about Matt Damon, I just don’t trust his smile or find him charming at all. I see him doing that big toothy grin thing that made everyone love him and it just has the opposite effect on me, it turns me off. I’m a hater, whatever.

Ran downtown after the movie to meet Mishy for dinner @ Mercer Kitchen. It’s gorgeous and sexy, I send ppl there for brunch all the time but had no idea it was so cool. Had pineapple mojitos, strip steak, and a split a slice of chocolate volcano for dessert. Mishy looked beautiful, all leggy and wispy and with the bedroom eyes. Her boyfriend was just here visiting for 10 days so she was happy and had lots to tell me. She talked to me about school in Switzerland and her ideas about what’s next after she’s done, about her new passions. I talked to her about how full my heart has been this year and how Right everything has felt… and how I wonder what’s next for me. Sometimes I just really want to level with folks and confess that I worry about whether or not I’m wasting my time, that I’m 27 and often feel directionless, that I’m not sure if it’s good that I found my Magic Three early (the job, the apartment, the relationship) or if I’m supposed to be looking for better passions and trading up later. Not with the relationship, just the other two. God, just blogging about this is weird. Shut up.

Cabbed home. Called P, he was too in love with his new futon to come back to mine. Crashed alone. Big bed little me.