Alright, so I’ve been observing all the hype and heat around the whole “Metrosexual Craze” that is taking the world by storm. I’ve read the articles (I love it that you all FWD them to me), seen the press blurbs, and caught the countless shout-outs on all the blogs. It’s all been pretty amusing, I have to say.

A lot of you have been asking me about how I feel about the fact that most of the media definitions of a metrosexual male specify that he’s straight, and also how I feel I fit into this new media-friendly definition. And some of you just really don’t even understand what I mean when I use the term at all. Great questions, btw, and thanks for even being curious! While I pretty much touch on it all in my smirky declaration here, and I know I have a tendancy to leave things a bit elusively phrased (it’s part of my bit, ok?), let me clarify and preach some of my shit for all you winners who have way too much free time on your hands.

Firstoff, I can hardly take credit for being anything of a pioneer for this kickass idea. It was really this tongue-in-cheek article by Mark Simpson that began gathering so much attention to the term “metrosexual”, and it was b/c of the humor, witty, and depth of this innovative interpretation that I even grabbed onto the term in the first place. My friends started to use it more, basically b/c they found it a perfect label for an otherwise unable-to-be-labelled boy of sprite like me. Bam! It stuck.

I never have and still don’t percieve the idea of Metrosexuality to pertain to one’s actual sexual orientation. As a good buddy of mine griped to me in a recent e, most of the articles keep defining it all as a “new way of life” for STRAIGHT men because if he were bi or gay, the point would be moot — b/c, you know, all gay/bi men live that way and it’s not really that exciting or interesting otherwise. Heh. This presumption just amuses me to no end. I guess it’s up to you to decide what it means or how it pertains to you. For me, it always just seemed like more of an upbeat outlook — a modern, fresher attitude on self and life in general for a young man in an urban metroworld. A boy like myself, perhaps a bit of a narcissist, and that’s how I see it pertaining to me. The sexual identity of the boy in question is irrelevant b/c when it all comes down, he chooses to sexualize himself over anyone else. It’s not about gender or sexual preferences, really. The REAL object of a young metrosexual’s affections are his surroundings and little happies: clothes, toys, music collection, income, his network, etc. You know, FUN STUFF!

“The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that’s where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference.”

So if METROsexuality is all really just about attitude and swagger and citylife, then what about the sex part? Where do the labels fit in? Where does a sexual identity come into play? What about those boundries that I love to push? What about the whole joy I take in blurring lines and doing exactly what I feel like doing with whomever I choose? What exactly is Spriteboy’s sexual preference, you ask? The ladies or the laddies? Or both? Is he a switch-hitter? Hah. Well if I gave you a direct answer, that’d just destroy this whole lovely mystique I’ve been building, wouldn’t it?

Alright, enough of this manifesto bullshit. I am Spriteboy, hear me roar. What’s on TV?